Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The importance of children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough has sparked an on going controversy . some people believe that it s can be achieve anything children if they try hard enough .while others are showing disagrement . this essay will explain the benefits and drawbacks of this trend in forthcoming paragraphs by using a pragmatic approch before

To commence with , there are myriad reasons to support the given statement but the foremost one is that in some cultures children Moreover , the wide range of advantages offer not only beneficial for people , but also for the society . on the other hand it conteibutes to grow them in many ways and eaises one s standard of living .for instance a study conducted by experts in 2020 demonstrates that positive

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the topic of encouraging children to believe effort can lead to success, and it signals an intention to discuss both benefits and drawbacks. However, it does not actually explain either side: the supposed benefit is left unfinished after “children,” and no disadvantage is presented. The example beginning “a study conducted by experts in 2020” is also incomplete and does not support a clear point. The response contains 126 words, so it is 124 words short of the required 250; 14 words copied from the task prompt were excluded from that count. To address the task more fully, state specific advantages and disadvantages, explain their effects on children, and support each with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an introduction and signposting such as “To commence with” and “on the other hand.” These cues suggest a plan to discuss both sides. However, the ideas are not arranged into a coherent argument: the opening is difficult to follow, the body paragraph shifts between claims without explaining their links, and the contrast marker “on the other hand” is not followed by a clear opposing point. The final example stops mid-sentence, so the response has no completed development or conclusion. Use separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, connect each claim to its explanation, and finish with a brief summary.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts some topic-related and formal vocabulary, including “myriad reasons,” “foremost,” “benefits and drawbacks,” and “standard of living.” This shows an effort to move beyond very basic wording. However, inaccurate spelling and word choice are frequent enough to make parts difficult to understand, as in “disagrement,” “conteibutes,” “eaises,” and “pragmatic approch.” Several phrases are also unnatural or unclear, such as “the importance of children are often told” and “the wide range of advantages offer.” Choose familiar words that express the intended meaning precisely, check spelling carefully, and use collocations such as “encourage children to persevere” or “raise their standard of living” only where they fit the point.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts longer sentence forms and linking clauses, for example “This essay will explain the benefits and drawbacks …” and “not only … but also …”. However, control is weak: the opening sentence has no clear grammatical structure, and “some people believe that it s can be achieve anything children” contains problems with word order and verb form. Agreement is also faulty in “the wide range of advantages offer,” while sentence boundaries and punctuation are inconsistent, including the run-on transition after “enough.” These errors often make the intended relationships unclear. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, capitalisation, and full stops.

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