Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Hard work is a key of success. In some cutures, childern are often told that they can achieve anything if they try enough. I believe that relentless efforts gurantees the attainment of any goal and better career opportunity, whereas it can also inflict health problems and less family time.

To begin with, there are several benefits of hard work. First, hard work helps in achieve goal of life. Hrad worker person can easily make their own pathway and become successful in their life. For instance, Dr. B.R. Ambedkar was such a hard worker personality and achieve fourteen degrees in their life. Furthermore, consistent effort helps in provide better career opportunities. Hard worker people can get promotions and better job opportunity in their life. Consequantly, hardwork can provide a chance to everyperson achieve anything in thier life.

However, there are some disadvantages of hard work which can not be ignored. Primary, hard work sometime may lead to various physical and mental health problems. For example, people who sitting for a long hours, may face back pain and obesity like health issues. Similarly, hard work can also put pressure, which may cause of somemental health problems such as stress, anxiety and depression. Moreover, working hard may can also create family relatuonships. If person doing hardwork for long time, always spend less time their family members. Thus, it may lead disruptions between their relationship.

In conclusion, although hard worker people may face the obstackle like health issues and conflicts in their families, hard work is important for achieve their goal of life and better job opportunities. I believe that people always maintain a schdule for hard work as well as also give time for others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall view: hard work can support achievement and career prospects, but may harm health and family life. The examples of promotions, back pain, and stress make the discussion relevant, and the conclusion restates your position. This meets the task well, though the benefits are developed more clearly than the central issue of telling children they can achieve anything. For example, the essay largely discusses hard work in general rather than considering how this message might motivate children or create unrealistic expectations. The Ambedkar example is specific, but its relevance would be clearer if you explained how it illustrates the effect of this message. More balanced development and explanation would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main progression. This is a coherent arrangement, although some linking is mechanical and connections between individual claims are not always smooth. For instance, “Consequently” introduces a broad claim about achieving anything without showing exactly how it follows from the preceding point about job opportunities. The reference in “their relationship” is also unclear because it follows a reference to family members. Use linking expressions more selectively, and make the relationship between each example and its main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “career opportunities,” “promotions,” “physical and mental health problems,” and “stress, anxiety and depression.” These choices make the main ideas understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “hard work” and “hard worker,” and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the essay difficult to interpret. For example, “hard work can also create family relationships” appears to mean that it can damage or strain them, while “a hard worker personality” is not a natural expression. Spelling errors such as “cutures,” “gurantees,” and “obstackle” also affect clarity. Build a more precise set of expressions for effort, achievement, and negative consequences, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast in the introduction and conditional structures such as “If person doing hardwork for long time.” However, the range is limited, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur often enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “helps in achieve goal,” “Dr. B.R. Ambedkar … achieve fourteen degrees,” and “people who sitting for a long hours.” The sentence “working hard may can also create…” also combines modal verbs incorrectly. Practise building accurate clauses with a clear subject and finite verb, and check agreement and articles. For example: “People who sit for long hours may experience back pain.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.