Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, the way we encourage the youth has become a subject of considerable debate. While some people may argue the children could persue anything in this world if. they put full effort to it , others opine that this could eventually demotivate them.This essay will examine both perspectives before explaining why i strongly agree with the fact that thi s

may have mores than advantages. than disadvantage s

.

To begin with ,advising students that evrything in this world is possible if they are willing give their hundred percent can encourage them. Students at early stage are more likely interested in learning new things. For example, when i was just a child , iwanted to ride bicycle, i tried so hard to ride it however lost motivation .One day my uncle told me that focus is the key of success and told me to keep female n trying until i reach my goal. From that day ,i consistently kept on practising riding bicycle until the day came when i dont needed any company to ride . From that day i understood that inorder to do something neww one must have to be focused . As. a result this particular incident has taught me to do anything i want.

On the other hand this encouraging statement can also result in demotivating students. When a student works really very hard in upgrading.

ones academic grade however he passes barely .This could actually demotivate the students more and not w if someone says that he could achieve anything if he wants then this may break all his confidence and pull hime dowm.

To recapitulate, althought the challenges exist,the overall impact is overwhelming positive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question: the bicycle anecdote illustrates how encouragement can build persistence, while the second body paragraph notes that unmet expectations may discourage a student. Your concluding view—that the overall impact is positive—is also present. However, the discussion is only partially developed. The first example focuses on your own experience but does not explain clearly how this message may benefit children more generally; the disadvantage is even less fully explained, ending with an unclear claim about confidence being damaged. The introduction also promises to examine both perspectives but gives a confusing position. Develop each advantage and disadvantage with a clear explanation and a relevant example, and state your overall view directly from the beginning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable essay structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader some sense of organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the bicycle story takes up much of the first body paragraph without clearly connecting each event to the general argument, and the disadvantage paragraph contains a broken, difficult-to-follow sentence. Some linking is mechanical or inaccurate, and the conclusion is too brief to bring the two sides together. Use clearer topic sentences, make the relationship between examples and claims explicit, and check that pronouns such as “this” have an unmistakable reference.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-relevant and formal expressions, including “considerable debate,” “demotivate,” “overall impact,” and “focus is the key of success.” These show an effort to move beyond very basic vocabulary. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes meaning difficult to follow: “give their hundred percent,” “upgrading ones academic grade,” and “overwhelming positive” are not natural in this context. Spelling errors such as “persue,” “evrything,” and “demotivate” (where intended spelling is inconsistent) also reduce control. Build a reliable set of phrases for discussing effort, expectations, achievement, and setbacks, and proofread spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea in the introduction and a time clause in “until the day came when…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors can make the reader work to understand the message. For example, “if they are willing give” lacks a required verb form, while “he passes barely” has an awkward sentence structure; “i dont needed” also combines verb forms incorrectly. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are inconsistent, particularly in the long bicycle anecdote and the unfinished sentence in the second body paragraph. Practise forming complete clauses, maintaining consistent tense, and using commas and full stops to separate ideas.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.