Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.I think there are advantages as well as disadvantages of theaching them this lesson.

If we teach them that only working hard is the key to sucess they can never be sucessfull. Today in this generation working hard can only make you a labour. Working hard only in a right order and on a right place can give you sucess. The world is now full of competition there are many people that work hard today but can not suceed . But competing with this generation and working more smartly then working hard can make you sucessfull in life.You have to first think smart and then work hard on that thing is the key to sucess.

I am not saying that you should not work hard i am just saying to work hard on an appropriate manner that can be benificial for you as ther are many advantages of working hard such as it makes you more daring and encourage to face the world.It builds your confidence and you ended up being a strong man and in this generation only strong man can survive.Working hard builds your confidence that you can achive anything.If you fails one time or more you will have a light in your heart that you have to work more hard and have to achive that position.Its always better then a lazy person who is just sitting on a chair and waiting for someone to make him sucessfull.

In conclusion, I think that working hard has many advantages but work hard in an unappropriant way can not lead you to sucess. So you also have to work smartly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the benefits and drawbacks of telling children that effort can lead to success, and your position is clear in the conclusion: hard work is valuable, but it should be combined with smart choices. The discussion of confidence, persistence after failure, and the risk of effort being ineffective when misdirected is relevant. However, the response focuses mainly on hard work in general rather than fully examining the specific message given to children. The disadvantage is also asserted more than explained, particularly in the claim that hard work can make someone “a labour.” Develop this point with a clear example, and explain more directly how the message might create unrealistic expectations or disappointment when effort does not guarantee success. (The response meets the task’s length requirement; 17 words copied from the prompt were excluded from the count.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main ideas can generally be followed. The contrast between working hard and working smart gives the discussion a basic organising thread. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to track: the first body paragraph moves from competition to labour and then to smart work without clearly connecting each claim. Several ideas are repeated, especially that hard work builds confidence and helps someone achieve success. Linking phrases such as “But” and “So” are used, but relationships between points are not always made explicit, and some sentences run together. Group each paragraph around one clear advantage or disadvantage, then use precise transitions and references to show how each example supports that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “competition,” “confidence,” “appropriate,” and “survive,” and the reader can usually understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several key words are repeated, particularly “working hard,” “success,” and “generation.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “sucessfull,” “achive,” and “benificial,” as well as inaccurate or unnatural combinations such as “work hard in an appropriate manner” and “a light in your heart.” These choices sometimes make the argument less clear or natural. Build a wider set of expressions for effort, achievement, setbacks and expectations, and check spelling and collocations carefully during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, the range is limited, and longer sentences often contain errors in clause structure, agreement or punctuation. For example, “The world is now full of competition there are many people that work hard” joins two complete ideas without suitable punctuation or a linking structure. In “If you fails one time or more,” the verb does not agree with its subject, while “you ended up being” shifts tense within the discussion. Missing sentence boundaries and inconsistent capitalisation also affect readability. Practise building accurate complex sentences with clear connectors, and check subject–verb agreement, tense consistency, articles and punctuation in each sentence.

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