Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Certain cultures believe that children should be told that they can achieve whatever they desire if they work hard enough.

This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of giving this message to childre.

Children are often naive and believe what they grow up hearing seeing or listening. Constantly affirming a child that he can achieve what he puts his mind to could help them build a better and a growth mindset for themselves. In a society that requires hard work and consistency, it is essential for the children to believe in them by dissociating the outcome with their goals. For example, a kid who is since childhood taught to dream big would chase the unrealistic by not having a limit to his dreams. This leads to a personal being well aversed with self belief and motivation.

However, this could have severe implications on a child. A person could resort to malpractice and unethical activites in order to reach his goals. For instance, pushing someone during a race in order to win. This could turn the entire situation around, since the kid could have ill intentions towards achieving a goal as well. On the flip side, a set of children could feel burnt out with the constant pressure given to him by himself in order to become successful. These indivduals might never feel content with their achivements and would only focus on the end goals instead of the enjoying process.

To recapitualte, I believe that while there are several pros and cons to both sides of the coin, children should be told they can achieve anything while supporting them in every milestone and helping them be at peace with where they are.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and gives a clear overall view: children can benefit from encouragement, but should also be supported in accepting their circumstances. The discussion of confidence and motivation is relevant, as is the risk of unethical behaviour or burnout. However, some ideas are not fully explained. For example, the claim that a child may “chase the unrealistic” is not clearly connected to the benefits of the message, and the race example illustrates misconduct without explaining how the belief itself might lead to it. Develop each point through a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and a more precise example. The conclusion is consistent with the essay, though its recommendation could be stated more directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast is easy to follow, and signposts such as “However,” “For instance,” and “To recapitulate” help guide the reader. This organisation is effective, while some cohesion is not yet fully controlled. In the first body paragraph, the movement from a growth mindset to “chase the unrealistic” and then to self-belief is abrupt, so the relationship between these points needs clearer linking. References such as “him” and “these individuals” can also make it less clear whether you mean one child or children generally. Use topic sentences and explicit links between each claim and its explanation to make progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for the topic, including “growth mindset,” “consistency,” “malpractice,” “unethical,” and “burnt out.” These choices help express both the positive and negative consequences, and the meaning is generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “affirming a child that,” “dissociating the outcome with their goals,” and “well aversed with self belief.” There are also spelling errors, including “activites,” “indivduals,” and “achivements,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations of words and check spelling carefully. For instance, “reassuring a child that” and “separate outcomes from goals” would express your intended meanings more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both simple sentences and attempts at more complex structures, such as “while supporting them in every milestone” and the sentence beginning “On the flip side.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors and awkward constructions affect clarity. In “Children are often naive and believe what they grow up hearing seeing or listening,” the list needs clearer punctuation and parallel phrasing. “Constantly affirming a child … could help them build” shifts from a singular child to “them,” while “a set of children could feel burnt out … given to him” creates further agreement and reference problems. Review pronoun consistency, sentence boundaries, and punctuation in lists. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence forms easier to follow.

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