Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some cultures, children are taught that to get successful they should work hard and stay persistent towards the desired goal. This lesson is to inculcate in them to motivation and willingness to work hard and achieve their dreams by overcoming the obstacles that comes their way. However, it does create unrealistic expectations in children that working hard is enough which leads to overlooking their other circumstances.

On one hand, working hard to achieve anything can motivate the children to showcase perserverance and stead-fastness towards their ultimate goals. As it encourages individuals to overcome the challenges that come in their way and surpass them rather than getting demotivated and derailed by them. Children when reminded that they can achive anything through their continuous effort will be inclined towards multiplying it by doing everyday practice, and learn from their failures. As in, student who is weak in Mathematics, when told they can achieve excellence through their effort is likely to get more immersed by doubling their practice time, and review their mistakes to make improvement, This mindset can help children develop resilience and understand that their abilities are not necessarily fixed.

However, children should be made to realise that effort alone may not help them achieve everything, as there are other factors including equitable opportunity, financial resources, health and many more that does come into play in the real world-setting. Further, if a child is going through consistent failures despite working hard and putting in effort, they might start to balme themselves of not doing enough to achieve their dreams. It may lead to developing constant feeling of inferiority which they can carry forward to their later lives and develop it into chronic depression and mental health issues. Therefore, it is crucial for teachers and parents to help children understand the importance of resources and their capabilites towards achieving their dreams. They should be given the rightful reality check that working hard does not always result in success and achievements.

To conclude, the advantages of motivating children to work hard sway over its disadvantages. The motivation to work hard leads to building resilience to overcome the challenges and problems towards acheving their goals. But they should be me made mindful that they will always be successful, and they should accept failures with grace and take it stride and move forward with the learnings.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a clear overall position: the benefits of encouraging effort outweigh the risks, provided children also understand that success is not guaranteed. The examples support the main points, particularly the student who improves in mathematics through practice and the discussion of unequal resources and health. These ideas are relevant and extended, which makes the response persuasive. Some claims, however, are broad or not fully explained: the link between repeated failure and “chronic depression” is asserted without showing how this outcome might arise, and the final advice to accept failure could be developed more precisely. Explaining how adults can encourage effort while setting realistic expectations would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: the introduction frames the issue, separate body paragraphs discuss benefits and drawbacks, and the conclusion restates the writer’s position. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “On one hand,” “However,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the argument. The mathematics example also gives the first body paragraph a clear line of development. At times, though, cohesion is less smooth because a sentence begins with “As it encourages” without a complete main clause, and the conclusion repeats the idea of resilience rather than bringing the two sides together in a more precise final judgement. Some references, such as “it” in the discussion of failure, could also be made clearer. More varied linking and tighter connections between sentences would improve flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The response uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “resilience,” “equitable opportunity,” “inferiority,” and “overcoming the obstacles.” These choices help express both the motivational benefits and the risks of unrealistic expectations. There are also several inaccurate or unnatural word choices and collocations, such as “get successful,” “inculcate in them to motivation,” and “multiplying it” for increasing effort. Spelling errors—including “perserverance,” “achive,” and “balme”—also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the argument, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim for familiar, accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make the vocabulary more effective than reaching for complex phrasing that does not fit.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including conditional phrasing (“if a child is going through consistent failures”) and clauses explaining consequences. The overall meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “the obstacles that comes” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “a student who is weak in Mathematics” needs an article and is followed by an awkwardly constructed example sentence. “There are other factors … that does come into play” also has agreement problems, and “As it encourages…” is a sentence fragment. Punctuation is sometimes inaccurate, as in the comma splice before “This mindset.” Review agreement, articles, complete sentence structure, and sentence boundaries. Greater control of these forms would make the complex ideas easier to read.

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