Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often parents give motivation to the chiildren in many country about just like you can do what ever they want if they try.So, in my openion it is prety impactfull for all of the children who want some kinds of courage for parents.

One of the main advantage of incoragement is that it make the children mentality in postiove way and gain the power to grind what they want to do.I think children are just like a clay and the parents are the disginer who deside to make ma valuable structure or put it in to a west. For instant when i was in my child age my parents provide me the education and give love,effection and incouragement to do what ever i want in my life.Thatswhy i become a hardworking and descipline person in the socieity. As a result it all the people value me and i always chose the righr choise in my life.

In other part the children has also some importen role just like obey the order of the parents or the elders once. While there are also some impact if the instruction is not give in the right way for example if the parents always give and force to do just like they want the children get so distructive and also chose the wrong disigne. As well as the it the parents impactfull instruction and aspection is hight and the child can not full fill there aim they got so much band impact on the child brain.As a result the child has the chance to get some very hard ishue like brain tumer, deprashion and other brain desides.

In conclusion, there bothe advantage and disadvantage perspective of told child about motivation line but the parents does not carry the higher espection.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question: encouragement may build confidence and persistence, while excessive pressure may have negative effects. The personal example about your parents’ support gives the first point some relevance. However, the discussion is only partially developed: the advantages are mostly presented as one broad claim, and the disadvantages focus on extreme outcomes without explaining more likely effects, such as disappointment or reduced confidence when a child cannot meet expectations. Your position is also difficult to identify. The conclusion says parents should not have “higher espection,” but does not clearly state how the benefits and risks should be balanced. Develop each side with a clear explanation and a realistic example, then state your overall view directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “One of the main advantage,” “In other part,” and “In conclusion” help indicate the intended stages. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the clay comparison, personal story, and claim that people value you are connected only loosely. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, and references such as “it” and “the instruction” do not always make clear what they refer to. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, explain it in a logical sequence, and use clearer links between claim, explanation, and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “encouragement,” “hardworking,” “discipline,” and “expectation,” and you try to express ideas about confidence and pressure. However, the usable range is limited, and frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices sometimes make the message difficult to understand. Examples include “openion,” “disginer,” “west,” and “destructive”; phrases such as “grind what they want to do” and “wrong designe” are also unclear or unnatural in context. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than forcing ambitious expressions. Proofread spelling carefully and learn topic phrases such as “build self-confidence,” “set realistic expectations,” and “cope with setbacks.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional ideas such as “if the parents always give and force to do just like they want.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms make some relationships hard to follow. For example, “One of the main advantage … it make” has a singular/plural mismatch, while “the children has” and “the parents does not” also show agreement problems. Several sentences run together without reliable punctuation, particularly in the personal example and the paragraph about negative effects. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, then check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries.

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