Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

some children think that they can achieve anything if they are try to work hard. children do work hard and they achieve their life goals but only work hard is not enough to success because skills are more important with work hard.

work hard is the key of success no doubt if kids are doing work hard they can achieve goals easily. it gives motivation, remarkable rewards in life. furthermore, through hardworking children feels independent to do work in their own suitable field.

children are doing hardworking which good enough but its have many disadvantages because you are working hard without any planning and destination of future that hardworking is waste of time only. children can not achieve their goals though this. Although, children has to prepare the plan of future and do work on their skills related to their filed because its beneficial for the procedure of achieving goals. lake of skilled based knowledge children are doing work hard which is baseless for them there is no benefits for doing such these things because they are just doing work hard with out any specific skill according to their filed. Moreover, there is a meth that hard worker is only who can achieve their goals, through use different skills according to field is important for any hard working child, and secondly making plan for the use of those skills which is very effective tor children to achieve their life goals which is essential to follow balance plan according to those work which is experience they have because experience is also matter to achieve the goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages, and its main position is that effort can motivate children but is not sufficient without skills and planning. The advantages are identified through motivation, rewards and independence, while the disadvantages focus on hard work without a plan or relevant skills. These are relevant points, but they are mostly asserted rather than explained with a clear example or developed reasoning. The discussion also shifts from the message children are given to advice about planning and skills, so the implications of telling children they can achieve anything are not fully explored. To strengthen the response, explain how this message may encourage persistence, and how it could also create unrealistic expectations or disappointment when effort alone does not guarantee success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure: an opening statement, a paragraph on advantages and a longer paragraph on disadvantages. Linking expressions such as “furthermore,” “because” and “moreover” show attempts to connect ideas. However, progression within the final paragraph is difficult to follow: planning, skills, a “myth,” experience and balance are introduced without clear separation or a consistent sequence. Some connections are repetitive or unclear, and references such as “this” and “those skills” do not always make the intended link easy to identify. Use one main idea per paragraph, order supporting explanations logically, and make each pronoun refer clearly to a specific idea. A brief conclusion would also help the response feel complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “motivation,” “independent,” “skills,” “planning” and “achieve their goals,” which helps communicate the central topic. However, vocabulary is repetitive, especially the repeated use of “work hard” and “goals,” and several combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “key of success,” “remarkable rewards in life” and “skilled based knowledge.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “lake” for “lack,” “filed” for “field” and “meth” for “myth,” also make parts harder to understand. Build a wider range of accurate expressions for effort and outcomes, and check collocations and spelling so that your meaning is conveyed more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences with clauses, for example, “children can not achieve their goals though this” and the sentence beginning “Although, children has to prepare the plan.” This shows an effort to express relationships between ideas, but complex sentences are often difficult to control, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “they are try to work hard,” “children feels independent,” and “children has to prepare,” where verb forms or subject–verb agreement are incorrect. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several ideas joined into long, confusing sentences. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns and separating each main point into a complete sentence before adding subordinate clauses.

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