Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

If we look toward some cultures, they usually told their children that if they will try to do something difficult then they can get each and averything. This can be beneficial for them and encouraged and motivate them. However, in some cases it can cause numerous unexecptale effects to thier life.

Firstly, if we encourage our childs to do somthing very difficult in their life and also give them right motivation then they can get anything, this will be very beneficial for them because they will try thoes and also get succeed that others can not do. For instance, we should guide our students in the institutions that they can read and learn anything if they want to do something better in their life then they must try to attempt it and one day they will get succeed.

Secondly, there are also many disadvantages of that because a lot of motivations,wrong guide and efforts can cause health issues like memory issues, headache, physical and mentally pains then they will try to do it but they can not. For instance, if we will make our mind to become a pilot but due to wrong guides and overloaded mind then we can not become a pilot.

In my openion, we can just can encourage our childs and do not told them to do very difficult in their life because it can cause health problems. However, we can help them to do their tasks and also encourage,motivate and tell them right guidesness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question: the first body paragraph presents motivation and achievement as benefits, while the second identifies possible health effects as a disadvantage. However, the discussion is only partial and the ideas remain under-developed. The claim that children can “get anything” through effort is broad, and the example about students learning does not explain how this message benefits children in a realistic or specific way. The pilot example is also unclear: it focuses on becoming a pilot rather than explaining how the message itself could create pressure or disappointment. Your opinion appears in the conclusion, but it is not fully clear how it balances the advantages and disadvantages. The response is also one word below the required minimum.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a concluding opinion. This helps the reader identify the intended advantages and disadvantages. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first example shifts from children to “students in the institutions,” and the link between effort and success is repeated rather than extended. Some connections are mechanical, and the conclusion begins with “However” without a clear contrast to the preceding point. Improve cohesion by making each paragraph develop one central idea in a clear sequence, and use pronouns and linking phrases only when their references and relationships are clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “motivation,” “encourage,” “health issues,” and “physical and mentally pains.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or spellings make parts of the message difficult to understand. Examples include “unexecptale effects,” “wrong guide,” “get succeed,” and “right guidesness.” Repetition of “try,” “do,” and “get” also limits precision. Aim to learn common word partnerships and use them accurately—for example, describe children as making an effort, achieving a goal, or experiencing pressure. Proofreading spelling and choosing natural expressions will make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional forms such as “if they will try to do something difficult” and clauses beginning with “because.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. For example, “they usually told their children” has an inconsistent tense, while “our childs” and “they can not become a pilot” show problems with number and article use. The sentence beginning “Firstly, if we encourage…” also becomes difficult to control as several ideas are joined together. These errors sometimes make the intended meaning harder to follow. Practise accurate present-tense conditionals and shorter sentence patterns, then combine ideas with one clear subordinate clause at a time.

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