Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the whole world, parents teach their children to work hard and help them to get their desires. There are some cultures in which children think that everything can be achieved by hard work. In this essay. we shall talk about few prons and corns about this kind of courage or enthusiasm.

Talking about some advantages of such thinking, parents and teachers always wish that their children and students become a example for whole world. To complete thier wishes they work hard for him and also teach him about hardworking. According to a well known saying,"Lap of mother is the first teaching institute of every child". In many cultures both studies and hardworking are very important. Children get message to put complete effort from their elders. It is not necessory that if father is lazy, child will also be lazy. There are many examples in the world which proof that children with hardwork can provide a better life and comfort to parents. In the world, law of justic is same. If children of poor work hard, they get position and could complete desires. By paying attention to work people of younge ages can fullfil thier needs.

At other side, Main effect this message is that children can insist parents very hardly to get those things which are harmfull for them.They can chose wronge method to get comfort of life.It is very necessory to train our children for hardwork in positive way. With advices we need to give them a path way to adopt responsibility.

To summaries my topic,messages of such kinds are very important for children to make their future secure. As well as it is also necessory that we need to teach them in positive way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear overall view that the message can motivate children, but should be taught positively. The advantages are illustrated through effort, improved opportunities and helping parents, while the disadvantage is that children may pressure parents for harmful things or choose wrong methods. However, the discussion is only partially developed: the examples remain broad, and the disadvantage is stated briefly without explaining how unrealistic expectations or failure might affect a child. The opening also shifts toward parents’ wishes rather than focusing consistently on the message children receive. Develop each point with a specific explanation or example, and make the link between hard work and the outcomes more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an advantages paragraph, a disadvantages paragraph and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Talking about some advantages” and “At other side” signal the intended direction, so the reader can follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the advantages paragraph moves from parental hopes to a saying, then poverty and children’s needs without clearly connecting these points. Some linking phrases are awkward or repetitive, and the conclusion largely repeats the introduction rather than drawing the discussion together. Group related ideas and use clearer references to show how each example supports the main point; this would make the organisation more coherent and less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a limited but relevant set of vocabulary, including “hard work,” “effort,” “responsibility” and “future secure,” which helps communicate the main topic. It also attempts more formal expressions such as “position” and “adopt responsibility.” However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the reader pause, including “prons and corns,” “necessory,” “thier,” “harmfull” and “wronge.” Several phrases are unnatural or imprecise, such as “get their desires,” “provide a better life and comfort to parents” and “law of justic is same.” Build a more accurate range for discussing motivation, expectations and consequences, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, for example, “It is not necessory that if father is lazy, child will also be lazy,” and uses clauses beginning with “if” and “that.” However, the range is limited, and complex attempts are often faulty. Errors in articles, agreement and sentence construction appear in phrases such as “a example,” “children think that everything can be achieved,” and “Main effect this message is that…”. Punctuation also disrupts accuracy, particularly the full stop in “In this essay. we shall talk…” and missing spaces after sentence-ending punctuation. Practise building clear sentences with accurate articles and subject–verb agreement, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.