Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In several parts of the world children are told that as long as they try hard enough, they can achieve anything they want. This belief is a double-edged sword. While it carry lots of banefits such as confidence, problem solving and ambitious mind. This belief also leads to verious issues.

On one hand, this message enables learners to be independent and confident. This perspective encourages individual efforts and leads to development of skills and knowledge. For instance, if a child believes he can turn his dream into reality by efforts. He will try to solve every problem he faces and will develop skills as a result. In addition, reseach ellaborates that children with this perspective are more muture than others. These children comprehends the chain of cause and effect. Consequently, they work hard to reach theri target goal.

On the other hand, this perspective can lead to the development of a society that is less cooperative. Always working in isolation, can lead to reduced trust on others. Statistics shows that people with this ideaology are less likely to work in teams. Such people are of perspective that they can achieve better result by doing a task independently. They are not satisfied by the output of others. Additionally, sometimes curcumstances and faith plays a huge role in a person achievement. Once in a blue moon, faith can turn the cycles of the life othervise. For example, if a person tries his best but unfortunetly falls victom to curruption, he or she can loss their hope.

In conclusion this message carries both pros and cons. A person should believe in himslef but at the same he should know that sometimes things do not turns out as one wants. In such case, people should not lose their hope and should try again and again.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall position: the message can build confidence and independence, but may also encourage isolation and unrealistic expectations. The examples about a child solving problems and someone losing hope after encountering corruption help make the discussion relevant. This is a solid response to the task, but the advantages are developed more clearly than the disadvantages. The claim that this belief creates a less cooperative society relies on a broad assertion about statistics rather than a specific explanation, and the point about faith and circumstances is not fully connected to the message children receive. Develop each point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation to make the discussion more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the direction easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “In addition, research elaborates” introduces a claim without showing how it follows from the example, while the shift from teamwork to “faith” feels abrupt. The sentence beginning “For instance, if a child believes…” is also separated by a full stop from its main clause, interrupting the flow. Use transitions that express the precise relationship between ideas and make sure each paragraph develops one connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “double-edged sword,” “independent,” “cause and effect,” and “cooperative,” which helps communicate the main ideas. Some less common expressions are not used accurately or naturally, however: “research elaborates,” “trust on others,” and “turn the cycles of the life” make parts of the argument harder to understand. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “banefits,” “verious,” “muture,” and “unfortunetly.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall message, but they reduce precision and control. Prioritise accurate spelling and natural collocations, and choose familiar wording when unsure of an idiom.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex forms, including conditional structures such as “if a person tries his best” and a contrastive opening with “While.” However, some sentence structures are incomplete or inaccurately formed. “While it carry lots of…” is a dependent clause without a complete main clause, and “For instance, if a child believes…” is separated from “He will try…” by a full stop. Agreement errors also occur in “These children comprehends,” “Statistics shows,” and “circumstances and faith plays.” The conclusion includes “things do not turns out,” where the verb form is incorrect. These errors are noticeable, though the main meaning remains understandable. Check clause boundaries and subject–verb agreement, then proofread verb forms and punctuation.

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