Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In various cultures, children are taught that working hard can help to achieve anything. I believe that this is a very subjective statement because this teaching can motivate children to work hard but also can put them in a pressurizing situation.

Working hard is very necessary in everyone's life because to achieve something it is essential to put all the efforts for it. There are many people who give up because of the challenges they have to face, but working hard and accepting the challenge is very important in order to achieve something. For example, successful people with a very settled life today, had worked really hard to own and achieve it.

But working hard doesn't mean to win something or to achieve first position, it means to give the best and to put all the efforts to achieve it. If a person fails in any situation, he is blamed over his efforts but if the person has given his best and still failed then he must be appreciated because he didn't lose because of lack of efforts. Such situations can be stressful and pressurizinng which can lead to many unwanted thoughts. For example, a student who has really worked hard for an exam and didn't score as expected can be disgraced or demotivated. In such situation, family and friends should motive him to do better next time.

In conculsion, it is really necessary to work hard for achieving success in life but it is also important to understand sometimes we lose ourselves and our close ones in the race of success which can lead to a difficult situation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question: the message may encourage effort, while it can also create pressure when children do not achieve the result they hoped for. Your position is present in the introduction and conclusion, and the exam example helps illustrate the disadvantage. However, the advantages are explained mainly through general statements about hard work and successful people, rather than showing specifically how this message benefits children. The discussion also shifts towards the value of effort and how to respond to failure, so the effects of telling children they can achieve anything are not always fully explored. Develop each side with clearer, child-focused consequences and explain how the examples support your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on the benefits, a paragraph that develops the risks, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “But” helps readers follow the change in focus, and the examples are placed alongside the relevant points. Some progression is less clear within paragraphs, however. The second paragraph moves from perseverance to challenges and then to successful people without fully connecting these ideas to the message given to children. In the third paragraph, the discussion of effort, failure, blame, and family support could be ordered more explicitly. Use clearer links between each claim and its consequence, and make references such as “such situations” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “challenges,” “appreciated,” “stressful,” and “demotivated.” There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “lack of efforts” and “race of success.” However, several expressions are awkward or imprecise, including “a very settled life,” “put all the efforts for it,” and “motive him to do better.” Repetition of “achieve,” “hard,” and “efforts” also limits flexibility. Spelling slips such as “pressurizinng” and “conculsion” are noticeable. Aim for more natural collocations and a wider range of precise terms for motivation, expectations, and setbacks.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if a person fails” and a relative clause in “people who give up.” Most of the meaning remains clear, and the longer sentences generally communicate the intended relationships. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, verb forms, and sentence construction. For example, “to achieve something it is essential to put all the efforts” needs more accurate article use, while “had worked really hard” does not fit the time reference in the sentence. The opening also has an awkward construction in “this teaching can motivate children … but also can put them.” Review parallel structures and tense choices, and punctuate longer sentences carefully.

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