Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In some cultures, children are often told that they can get everything if they try do this very hardly. Although this message motivate to childern achieve their goals and develop positive attitude but sometimes is not easy facing many diffculties because reality success depends not hard work.
On the one hand, many children encourge to hard work become more confident. In addition, children understand effort can help overcome by hard working because it is become a successful person. Moreover, a student struggle and practise everyday become good result his exam and also gradully improve performenc, some students can sucsess for their mential abilty low. For example, regular practise, mainting routine, properly maintain these rules obiously will be good performe. So, focus their activites perfectly and develop mindset patience, discipline, experience valuable qualities helps them achieve anything.
On the other hand, nowdays children do not hard work confidently because they are trying develop unrealistic expections. Forthermore, reality success depends not hard work and it is depending natural abilities, otherwise they do not sucess due to hard work. In addition, everything do not accept by hard work, sometimes it will be depend nature and others activites. For instance, children develop by many activites such as financial resources, available opportunities, natural abilities and sourse of others.
In conclusion, although some people believe that children can achieveing their goal by their hard work , during develop positive mindset but sometimes is not easy to achieve goal because they are facing many difficulties and totally depends on natural abilities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You address both sides of the question: the message may encourage effort and confidence, while it can also create unrealistic expectations when success depends on factors beyond hard work. Examples such as practising for exams and the role of financial resources and opportunities are relevant. However, these ideas are often asserted rather than clearly explained, and your position is not fully consistent: the opening suggests the message motivates children, while the conclusion says achievement depends “totally” on natural abilities. The response is also 244 words, six words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to develop your points. Explain each advantage and disadvantage more precisely, and state a balanced, consistent view.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers identify the stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is less clear: several points are added in sequence without showing how they connect, and some sentences are difficult to follow, particularly the discussion of practice, exam results, and ability. Linking phrases such as “Moreover” and “In addition” are sometimes repetitive rather than showing a precise relationship. Organise each body paragraph around one main idea, then explain it and give a directly relevant example; use referencing and transitions to make those links clear.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “confident,” “unrealistic expectations,” “financial resources,” and “natural abilities.” These choices show an effort to discuss both personal qualities and external influences. However, the range is limited and frequent spelling and word-choice errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand, as in “childern,” “diffculties,” “sucsess,” and “performenc.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “achieve anything” and “source of others,” which do not express your intended ideas precisely. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations. For example, use “make progress through sustained effort” rather than “achieve anything,” and describe success as influenced by “opportunities and circumstances.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
You try to use more than simple sentences, including a concession in the opening and examples introduced with “because” and “although.” However, the range is limited, and complex attempts are often faulty. Errors in verb forms and sentence construction appear in phrases such as “if they try do this,” “this message motivate,” and “children understand effort can help overcome by hard working.” Agreement and clause structure also cause problems in “everything do not accept by hard work.” These errors frequently make the intended relationships unclear, although the overall topic can usually be understood. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time; check verb forms, articles, and agreement before combining ideas.
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