Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

nowadays,children are becoming lazy because they does not try enough .parent are not take caring about them .this essay will discuss about the advantages and disadvantages of this trend

begin with ,if children have determination and hardwork it will build them a better career in future although if they become self independent they will be resposible for take caring of finacial thing ,self cooking ,take care of family and other activties moreover tring hard will help them to overcome the failures that happen in the future ,in the modern challenging era not giving up is a significant part of life for exam there is report in kerala that a boy who had attended the psc exams 5 times but he passed the exam at his 6th attemt.so trying hard or not giving up help children in furture

on the other hand this , there are some disadvantage like ,while try hard for preparing exams or doing jobs some time they can loose their money and reduce and it effect mentally and physically .For atempting some exam we want to pay more amounts which a middle class or lower class family cannot afford those .In some jobs we cannot handle the pressure from the higher officer and it effect physically fo instance in india if we want to write an exam odf ielts we want to pay19000 for an exam some some people loose money by trying on it

in conclusion,find that even it has some disadvantages like loosing money and effecting mental stress but also this has some benefit like becoming responsible and independent

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question: the benefits include becoming responsible and independent, while the drawbacks include financial loss and stress. The example of a candidate passing an exam on a sixth attempt also supports persistence. However, the response only partly explores the specific message that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Several points shift towards adults taking exams or handling jobs, so their connection to children and the effects of this message is not always clear. The opening claim that children are becoming lazy is not explained, and the conclusion mainly repeats the two sides. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how this belief can motivate children, and how it might create unrealistic expectations or pressure when effort does not guarantee success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, one paragraph for advantages, one for disadvantages, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “on the other hand” and “in conclusion” help signal the main stages. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the advantages paragraph moves from career prospects to household responsibilities and then to an exam anecdote without clearly linking each point to the central message. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, including “begin with” and “moreover,” and “on the other hand this” is awkward. Several long sentences run ideas together, making relationships between claims difficult to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and organise each paragraph around one main idea, followed by explanation and a directly relevant example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “determination,” “independent,” “overcome the failures,” and “challenging era.” These choices show an attempt to discuss persistence and its consequences. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, particularly “try hard,” “take care,” and “effect.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice problems, such as “resposible,” “finacial,” “attemt,” and “loose” where “lose” is intended. Some combinations are unnatural, for example “self cooking” and “reduce and it effect mentally and physically,” which can make the meaning unclear. Build a more precise range for discussing motivation, expectations, setbacks, and pressure, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a conditional idea beginning “if children have determination” and a contrast introduced by “although.” However, complex sentences are often difficult to follow because of frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. Examples include “they does not try,” “parent are not take caring,” and “trying hard or not giving up help children.” Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, with several sentences joined by commas or left without clear boundaries. These errors sometimes make the intended relationships between ideas unclear. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, then build longer sentences from shorter, correctly punctuated clauses. Aim for a wider range of structures that remain controlled.

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