Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some cultures, childrean are aften are told that they can achive anything if they try hard engough.The massage can be good for motivation , but sometimies it can also meat childrean feels builds confidance ,achive goals, and never gives up easily . The essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of this idea.

The main advantages of telling chirdan they can do anything is that it helps them to bulides confidance most of students of think is they have every thing is bulds beacause childrean maind sait achive gooals they have belive not giveup not essaly. such as childrean think is pass of exam, they goals is done .they have not give to anything.

On the other hand childrean tellined they can do every this not helps tham to cause disappoloment . many of students thikn they have not bulilds achivment ,they ignorres natural abilities unrealistic exlectations beacause they hoop lass and they have no go it and loss for anergi childrean is essaly giveup, and negative impact for on mental healts .

In conclusion the massage childrean are told they can achive such as good thiks good bullds to anything but it can also childran highest passer beacause childran ignor for alilities and disspontment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both sides of the question: the opening mentions motivation, and the body paragraphs attempt to discuss confidence and goals as benefits, then disappointment and mental health as drawbacks. However, the ideas are only minimally explained, and several sentences are difficult to interpret, so the reader cannot clearly see how the examples support your points. For instance, the exam example seems intended to show that encouragement helps children persist, but its meaning is unclear. The conclusion also does not clearly summarise the two sides. The response contains 206 words, so it is 44 words below the required minimum. To strengthen the response, explain each advantage and disadvantage with a clear cause-and-effect link and a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for advantages, one for disadvantages, and a conclusion. The transition “On the other hand” appropriately signals a change in viewpoint, and the essay stays focused on the topic. However, progression within the body paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded together without clear links. For example, the advantages paragraph moves from confidence to exams and persistence, but the relationships between these points are not made explicit. Some linking is also repetitive or unclear, and the conclusion does not bring the discussion together effectively. Use one main idea per paragraph, develop it in a logical sequence, and connect examples directly to the point they illustrate.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “motivation,” “confidence,” “goals,” “unrealistic expectations,” and “mental health.” These choices show awareness of the subject, but the usable range is limited and many words are misspelled or used in unclear combinations, which often strains the reader. For example, “childrean” and “achive” obscure basic meaning, while phrases such as “highest passer” and “loss for anergi” are difficult to understand. Focus first on accurate spelling and common collocations, then build a wider range of precise expressions for explaining outcomes. Reusing a few accurate topic words is more effective than attempting phrases whose meaning is unclear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You use a few basic sentence patterns and attempt to express cause and contrast, including “On the other hand” and “because.” However, grammatical control is very limited, and frequent errors sometimes distort the intended meaning. For example, “it helps them to bulides confidance” has an unclear verb form, while “it can also meat childrean feels builds” combines clauses without a workable structure. Subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “they goals is done.” To improve, practise building clear simple sentences with a subject, correctly formed verb, and complete idea before joining them with conjunctions. Check agreement and punctuation carefully, and add more varied structures only when the basic sentence is accurate.

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