Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

If children try with extreme efforts to be successful in their life, which is often said by them, in few cultures. Moreover, it is a best life lesson ever a culture can taught to these children. Today, I am going to talk about pro's and con's of these message.

On the positive side, kids who have these much knowledge, gathered from various social welfare and tradition is a positive side, towards inspiration for other religions and cultures. Moreover, This type of mindset could affect their initial growth because that struggle phase gonna be very stressful for them but after a good start they will have everything, in terms of wealth etc. Furthermore, this mindset can help those children to get a motivational boost in their studies respectively and score well in examinations. For instance, if a middle class boy belongs from this mentality, Honestly, he/she knows meaning of responsibility, which is very grateful thing for their family.

On the dark side, Hard-work is itself very hard to do. As per recent survey, only 3.5% people can achieve their goals who stay consistent till the end and these survey directly serves us reality check. children's do not have that much understanding for their future goals. in addition, they do not have maturity to take right path and even though they push themselves, chances are very low of their success. Directly, these type of thinking can cause those kids towards mental health disorders unnecessarily.

To sum up, Although these culture taught them about right direction, Some causes are dangerous and could cause negative impact from their childhood as well. Both coin's side are perfect but totally depends on child's nurture and many other factors.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question by discussing motivation and possible pressure or mental-health effects, and the essay has a relevant concluding statement. However, the advantages and disadvantages are only partly explained, so the response remains limited in development. For example, the claim that children will “have everything, in terms of wealth” after a difficult start is broad and does not explain how the message leads to that outcome. The disadvantage about children lacking maturity is relevant, but the link between being told they can achieve anything and developing mental-health problems needs clearer explanation. State your view more directly and support each main point with a specific, plausible example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On the positive side,” “On the dark side,” and “To sum up” help readers identify the sections. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and some connections between ideas are unclear. The opening sentence is difficult to follow, while the first advantage paragraph moves from cultural knowledge to stressful struggle, studies, and family responsibility without showing how these points relate. Linking phrases such as “Moreover” and “Furthermore” are used repeatedly but do not always create a clear logical relationship. Organise each paragraph around one main idea, then explain and illustrate it before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “motivational boost,” “responsibility,” “consistent,” and “mental health disorders.” These choices show an effort to discuss the issue beyond very basic terms. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “these much knowledge,” “a culture can taught,” “belongs from this mentality,” and “cause those kids towards mental health disorders.” Informal expressions such as “gonna” and “pro's and con's” are also unsuitable for this academic essay. Aim for precise, natural phrases and check word forms and spelling; for instance, use “advantages and disadvantages” and “believes in this mindset.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if a middle class boy…” and a contrast introduced by “Although.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, plurals, and punctuation can make the message hard to follow. For example, “a culture can taught” needs a correctly formed verb, and “children's do not have” incorrectly uses an apostrophe and mismatches the plural subject. The opening sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure. Use shorter, complete sentences while checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, then build complexity with accurately controlled clauses. Consistent capitalisation after full stops would also improve accuracy.

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