Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In some cultures, parents teach their children to never give up and always stand for a win. Parents motive is clear that they want to motivate their children and want to see them fighting in this crurial world. Indeed, some children gets motivated and achive unexpected victories; however, some of them can not aquire and fall in their parents eyes.

Parents belive that children should empahsis for a sucess no matter hwo worse th situation is going on. It builds children mental health to withsatand problem and to be a great person in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response recognises the topic and gives a relevant advantage: the message may help children develop resilience and achieve success. It also hints at a disadvantage, saying some children may fail and fall in their parents’ eyes. However, the task asks for both advantages and disadvantages, and neither side is explained with a clear example or developed reasoning; the disadvantage is especially unclear. The response also does not establish a clear overall position. The length requirement is not met: the response contains 95 words, well below the required 250, so the discussion is necessarily very limited. To improve, explain both outcomes, show how they affect children, and support each point with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic line of thought: the opening introduces parents’ encouragement, and the final paragraph develops the possible benefit of resilience. The linking word “however” also signals a contrast between children who succeed and those who do not. At present, though, the response is too brief to show a developed progression, and the disadvantage is not clearly connected to its consequences. The two paragraphs do not form a complete essay structure, with no conclusion to summarise the discussion. Build separate paragraphs for the advantages and disadvantages, use clear topic sentences, and connect each claim to an explanation or example. This would make the organisation easier to follow without relying on a single contrast marker.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant vocabulary, including “motivate,” “victories,” “mental health,” and “withstand,” showing an attempt to discuss encouragement and resilience. However, several spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural expressions make the meaning less clear, such as “crurial,” “achive,” “aquire,” and “stand for a win.” “Fall in their parents eyes” is also an unclear way to express the effect of failure. The vocabulary range is limited by the short response, and some word choices do not fit the intended meaning. Check spelling carefully and choose precise collocations, such as “strive for success” or “feel they have disappointed their parents.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms. For example, the first paragraph uses a contrast clause with “however,” and the second includes a purpose clause beginning “that they want to motivate.” These attempts show some structural variety, but control is inconsistent. In “some children gets motivated,” the subject and verb do not agree; “Parents motive is clear” needs a possessive form; and “children should empahsis” does not form a grammatical clause. The phrase “no matter hwo worse th situation is going on” also has faulty sentence construction. Use accurate subject–verb agreement, possessives, and complete clauses, then proofread each sentence for grammatical structure and punctuation.

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