Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Kids in some traditions are mostly told that if they work hard for something,they will achieve that.

There are many advantages behind these encouraging words that are mostly told by various peoples to there kids in some traditions.The first advantage is that the kids becomes more ambitious about the things that they want means they will develop a sense of freedom from dependency on others.The second advantage is that these kids are more self determined and passionate and will give there 100 percent in everything they want to achieve.The third advantage include that these kids will have more pateince,as they tried multiples times to achieve onething they want.Last advantage includes these kids are more disciplined,respectful,kind, helpfull, supportive and courageous.

Although there are few disadvantages like some kids may feel discourage if they fail to achieve their goal though they have tried multiple times.Some kids may become hopeless and lonely.Somes kids may feel insecure and guilty as when they see other kids are achieving their goals in just one or two attempts.This may develop negative attidude in them and they may feel jealous of those students success and may become badversion of them like speak lie, become mischievious.Some kids when continously achieving there goals with hardwork but never loose those things not even once become stubborn and proudy seeing other kids lower then them.If these kids ever loose in achieving something that they never loose in previous years they will blame others for this and always protect themselves making other feels guilty .

In my Opinion,this is a good thing in some traditions where kids are told that if they work hard for something,they will achieve it as these words plays positive role in there entire life as kids will be more sucessful.Although there are few disadvantages but that are not that much impactful on kids life than its advantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: you consider possible benefits such as ambition, independence and persistence, then discuss discouragement, jealousy and pride as potential drawbacks. This is relevant coverage of the task. However, several points are asserted rather than explained. For example, the claim that the message makes children “respectful, kind, helpful, supportive and courageous” is not linked clearly to hard work, while the discussion of jealousy and blaming others could use a specific explanation of how unrealistic expectations might lead to these reactions. Your conclusion restates your preference but does not weigh the advantages against the disadvantages in much detail. Develop fewer ideas with clearer reasoning and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph of advantages, a paragraph of disadvantages and a concluding opinion. The contrast signalled by “Although” also helps the reader follow the shift between sides. Within the body paragraphs, however, ideas are often presented as long lists, and the repeated sequence of “The first advantage,” “The second advantage” and “The third advantage” feels mechanical. Some connections between claims are unclear, particularly the move from repeated failure to becoming jealous or dishonest. The final disadvantage sentence is lengthy and difficult to track. Group related points, explain the relationship between them, and use clearer sentence boundaries and referencing to make progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “ambitious,” “self-determined,” “passionate,” “disciplined,” “insecure” and “negative attitude.” This gives you a basic range for discussing children’s responses. However, word choice and spelling errors are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less clear: “there kids” is used for “their children,” “pateince” for “patience,” and “badversion” is not an appropriate expression. Several phrases are also unnatural, such as “achieve that,” “give their 100 percent” and “lower then them.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. A more precise vocabulary would also help distinguish confidence and persistence from unrealistic expectations or pressure.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea in “if they work hard for something, they will achieve it” and a contrast introduced by “Although.” These structures help communicate your main position. Some grammatical errors remain, especially with subject–verb agreement, sentence construction and punctuation. For instance, “the kids becomes” should be “children become,” and “Last advantage include” should be “The last advantage is.” The long sentence beginning “Some kids when continuously achieving…” is difficult to follow because its clauses are not clearly organised. Commas are often missing after introductory phrases, and several sentences run together. Practise building complex sentences with clear subjects and verbs, then check agreement and punctuation.

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