Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, there is a lot of improvemt in each and evey thing and because of that reason the compitation is getting tight between humans. Therefor to motivate and achive the goal of their childrens their parents and grand parents offent provide advice to work hard to achieve their goal. However some times it help them and some time don't. Further in this essay I'm going to discuss it advantages and disadvantage and in the end I'll mention my point of view with relevent example.

It is true, that in some cultures people adviece their children's to work hard to achieve thier goals because by working hard for somthing can teach them it improtance and value. If they will get thing easlly then they will not able to learn the process of achieving some thing as well as while working hard for something can teach them being patent and value that perticuler thing. Therefor the main motive for working hard to achieve something is to teach childrens the value of that thing. For example when I was in my 6th grade my father promised me that if I'll work hard to improve my gardes then he will gift me a cycle on my birthday and I won't new cycle sothat I had work harder and improved my garde and learn being patent.

However, each coin has two side like that it has some disadvantage also. like the process of hard work take too long time to achieve the goal and because it's time consuming some time that childrens become more impatents and angry beause they don't get what they won't. Secondly, they will not be able to learn about smart work and work hard for some thing but some time it won't work without smart work.

To conclude I belive that parents should teach their childrens both the quality so that in their future they can use and achive their goal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages of telling children that effort can help them achieve their goals, and your final view—that parents should teach both qualities—gives the essay a relevant conclusion. The example about your father offering a bicycle also supports the benefit of effort by showing how it encouraged you to improve your grades. However, the discussion does not fully explore the specific message that children can achieve anything: the benefits focus mainly on learning patience and valuing rewards, while the drawbacks focus on frustration and the limits of hard work. Explain more clearly how unrealistic expectations might affect children, and develop the distinction between effort and factors beyond a child’s control.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “However,” “Secondly,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the broad direction of the argument. At times, though, connections are mechanical or unclear. The introduction promises a point of view and an example, but the position is not made explicit until the conclusion. Within the body paragraphs, several ideas are joined in long sentences, making their relationships harder to follow; for example, the sentence beginning “If they will get thing easily” combines learning the process, patience, and valuing an achievement. Use clearer sentence boundaries and link each explanation directly to the main point of its paragraph.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “competition,” “achieving,” “time-consuming,” “impatient,” and “smart work.” These choices allow you to communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts of the essay difficult to read. For instance, “each and every thing” is vague, “the competition is getting tight” is not a natural collocation, and “being patent” appears to mean “being patient.” Misspellings such as “improvemt,” “achive,” and “relevent” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing expectations and outcomes, and check spelling and common word partnerships before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If they will get thing easily” and a reason clause beginning “because by working hard.” This shows an effort to express cause, condition, and contrast, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. For example, “their parents and grand parents offent provide advice” has agreement and sentence-form problems, while “I won't new cycle sothat I had work harder” is difficult to interpret because the verb forms and clause structure are faulty. Review conditional patterns, tense consistency, articles, and plural forms. Shorter, carefully checked sentences would help you express your ideas more accurately while you continue practising complex structures.

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