Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, in some cultures, children are often told tht they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. It is widely believed that this issue haas become increasingly significant in modren society. while this trend offers several benefits, it also raises concerns about children progress. This eassy will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of achieveing anything if they try hard enough.

On the one hand, this topic has lot of advantages. This advice give children a proper plan on which they focus.This give determintion to the teenager to focus on their goals with hard work. Hard work and the consisitency are those two main things which is very important for success. In those culture where children are often told that they can get anything with hard work became the one of the best culture and nation of the world, like chinese and japanese those are the nations in which hard world has a lot of importance.

On the other hand, there are several disdavantages of such advice even at early age. Due to this children only want to become a winner everytime. If they lose they involved in illegal activities to become a winner This may increase crime rate and even cause disturbance in business if they are involved in the business. Some time success is not sureity and this may cause mental disorder in the teenager.

In conclusion, this eassy discuss both advantages and disadvantages.. In my perspective benefits still outweigh. We may control disadvantages with proper guidance and plan.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question and give a position in the conclusion, saying that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion of determination and hard work is relevant, but the advantages are not fully explained, and the examples about Chinese and Japanese cultures are broad rather than clearly supported. The disadvantages are also asserted more than developed: the link between wanting to win and becoming involved in illegal activities needs explanation, and the business point is unclear. The response is 244 words, so it does not meet the 250-word minimum; the nine words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop each main idea with a clear explanation or example, and make your overall position more explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the two sides. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For example, the move from children wanting to win to illegal activities and then business disturbance is abrupt, while “This advice” and “This” do not clearly identify the ideas they refer to. The conclusion repeats the task rather than bringing the main points together. Use clearer links between cause and effect, make references specific, and organise each body paragraph around one developed central idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “determination,” “goals,” “hard work,” “success,” and “mental disorder.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice or collocation problems make parts difficult to understand, such as “proper plan on which they focus,” “become a winner everytime,” and “success is not sureity.” Spelling errors are also frequent, including “tht,” “modren,” “eassy,” and “disdavantages,” which reduce the clarity and accuracy of the writing. Aim for precise phrases that express the intended meaning, and proofread carefully. For instance, explain what guidance children need rather than describing the advice as a “proper plan.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer structures, including “While this trend offers several benefits, it also raises concerns” and a conditional sentence beginning “If they lose.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, and punctuation frequently affect readability. Examples include “This advice give children,” “those two main things which is,” and the incomplete construction “In those culture … became the one of the best culture.” Several sentences also run together, as in “If they lose they involved in illegal activities to become a winner This may increase crime rate.” Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check that each sentence is complete and correctly punctuated.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.