Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In few cultures, children are frequently told that they can achieve anything if they work hard enough. So, in the forth coming paragraphs, I have discussed some merits behind this trend and also I have suggested some demerits associated with this trend.

Taking into account merits of working hard, the first and foremost is developing some skills. When children can work hardly so they can escalate some nature of discipline and consistency it can encourage children to work or study anything with full discipline. For example, they can studying and preparing for NEET exam so it is neccessary to have some mindset of working with full patient and regularity because it can help to improve their skills like visualising power, curiosity and many others.

Yet another merit is developing some qualities of characters by working hard. It is very important in current days that you have some skills to achieve something in their life. For example, the hard work helps to imporve their politness by helping them for overcoming individuals tough sitation and increasing the capacity to solve that different types of problems with help of their characters and skills.

Now considering the demerit of try hard to achieve anything, the first and foremost is not enjoying their childhood properly. When children will start hardwork in study or in work so it takes to much time to achieve their destination and for improving something antique which not availables in others. For example, elon musk gives their whole time in technology and in space exploration rather than enjoying with their friends or with their family.

To conclude, the hard work help to childre to grow some skills and qualities of characters, whereas it harms the children time by not enjoying their childhood.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the question: it identifies possible benefits, such as developing discipline and problem-solving qualities, and a disadvantage, namely losing time for childhood activities. The conclusion also restates this contrast. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The benefits are described broadly, and the NEET example does not clearly show how the message that effort can achieve anything benefits children. The Elon Musk example is also not fully connected to children receiving this message, and the essay does not explain other possible drawbacks, such as disappointment when effort does not guarantee success. Develop each point with a clearer explanation of the cause and effect, and keep examples directly tied to the question. The response contains 283 words; 8 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and a disadvantage, and a concluding summary. Signposting such as “Yet another merit” and “Now considering the demerit” helps readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first benefit paragraph moves from discipline to exam preparation and then to several skills without clearly linking each step. Some transitions are mechanical, and references such as “this trend” and “that different types of problems” are not always precise. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, then explain it and give a directly relevant example. This would make the connections between ideas clearer and reduce reliance on formulaic signposting.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “discipline,” “consistency,” “qualities of character,” and “problem-solving.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, as in “escalate some nature of discipline,” “improve their politness,” and “improving something antique.” Spelling errors such as “neccessary,” “imporve,” and “sitation” also reduce accuracy. Some phrases are repeated, particularly “hard work” and “skills.” Build a more precise set of expressions for effort, achievement, and childhood, and check whether each word fits its context. For example, describe children as “developing self-discipline” rather than “escalating” discipline, and use “spend time with family” for the example about childhood.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “When” and “because,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. Examples include “When children can work hardly so they can escalate,” “they can studying,” and “the hard work help to childre to grow.” The sentence beginning “For example, the hard work helps…” also has an unclear grammatical structure, making the intended relationship between helping, overcoming difficulties, and improving qualities hard to follow. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one subordinate clause. Check subject–verb agreement and use the correct verb form after modal verbs and “help.”

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