Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In various cultures, children are usually told that they can get anything that they want if they work hard. I agree as much as disagree in the above notion, and I have supported my stand with reasonable justification.

First of all, taking into account reasons for agreement side, children are motivated to do anything. Even, when they face any failures, they would not be disappointed by them easily because nowadays children are often dismotivated by failure and influence to get unwanted steps such as suicide. Subsequently, they will not need to get encouragement from their teachers and families.

In addition, they would be capable to overcome any obstacles such as business crisis in future. Sometimes, children are usualy rely on others. If they are independent They will not need to get help from others because every person would not help them. Even, they solve any problems by themselves in upcoming years. So. i think getting this massage is importent.

looking at reasons for disagreement side, Children would getting only concentration on career and goals rather than enjoying life. Then, Children will not focus on enjoying activities and pursuing their hobbies. After that it is essential to enjoy life moments. Even, they easily get bored and frustration from their life. therefore, celebrating every moment in life is importent as well as goals.

To sum up, giving this lesson to every child will worth it. Children will become self rely and get solution about any problem. They will get significant achivement that beyond their expectation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a concluding view that the message can help children become independent and achieve more. The points about motivation after failure and focusing too heavily on career goals are relevant. However, the response does not consistently explain the specific advantages and disadvantages of telling children that effort can lead to anything. For example, the claim that they “will not need to get encouragement” is not clearly supported, and the discussion of hobbies and boredom needs a clearer link to the message. Your position also shifts: “I agree as much as disagree” is difficult to interpret, while the conclusion mainly endorses the message. Develop each point with a clear explanation or example and state your overall view consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion. This gives the reader an overall route through your ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and linking expressions can feel mechanical or inaccurate. For instance, “Even” is used to introduce several points where the relationship is not clear, and “After that” does not logically connect the discussion of goals with enjoying life. The sequence “So. i think” also interrupts the flow. Use fewer, more precise transitions, and make each paragraph develop one main point in a clear order. Clearer links between claims and explanations would make the organisation more coherent.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivated,” “obstacles,” “independent,” “career,” and “hobbies.” However, the range is limited and several word choices, collocations, and word forms are inaccurate, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “dismotivated,” “get unwanted steps,” “self rely,” and “get solution about any problem.” Spelling and form errors such as “usualy,” “importent,” and “achivement” also reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural phrases for discussing effort and outcomes, such as “cope with setbacks” or “become self-reliant,” and check spelling and word forms during revision. This would help you express your ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If they are independent…” and clauses beginning with “because.” However, the range is limited, and errors in sentence construction and verb forms occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “children would getting only concentration” has an incorrect verb pattern, while “they would be capable to overcome” uses an incorrect structure after “capable.” There are also problems with agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “every person would not help them” and “So. i think.” Practise reliable patterns such as “would focus,” “capable of overcoming,” and “not everyone would help,” then proofread for capitals and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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