Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In few cultures, people told youngstures that they can achieve achieve anything by enough hard work. So, in the forthcoming paragraphs, I have suggested some merits asocciated by this trend and I have also provided some demerits of this trend.

Taking into account, there are few advantages such as children can motivate and encourage themselves to work hard. Childrens are very naive and have high grasbing power, so they can accept thier parents or elders commands, which can motivate them to work hard for gaining opportunities in some competitions also such as painting, dancing, sports and debates, which can help to work hard for thier winnig and prepare themselves for hardwork.

Now, considering some demerits associated with this trend, one of the most appropriate reasons is, children can not think beyond hard work for achievements. Childrens can be conserve minded if they have provided instuctions for hard work, which and limits their thoughts and doing hardwork without thinking in a smart way. In this modern era, competition among people boosted, so working enough cannot help to achieve everything. Critical thinking and smart work are also very crucial to achieve goals.

Moreover, this mentality can make children dumb, so children prefer to not think other options to achieve something. For instance, a student want good marks in mathematics but unfortunatly result is not satisfying even after a much hardwork, so student again practicing mathematics but not try to score better in other subjects, which can help to increase overall result because good score in mathematics is beyond his/her understanding.

To conclude, alert children for hard work can benefits to motivating and preparing them for hardwork to achieve something, but in some cases it can be not useful and productive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a relevant focus on the message that effort can lead to achievement. The advantage—that this belief may encourage children to work hard—is supported with examples such as competitions in painting, dancing and sport. You also explain a disadvantage through the mathematics example, showing how a child might persist with one subject instead of considering other ways to improve overall results. However, some points are less fully developed: the claim that children may become “dumb” is unclear and needs a more precise explanation, and the discussion could distinguish more clearly between persistence and the unrealistic belief that effort guarantees success. Develop each point with a clear cause-and-effect explanation and a balanced conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, a further example, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “Now, considering some demerits” helps readers follow the shift in focus, and the mathematics example gives the final disadvantage a logical illustration. However, some linking is mechanical or unclear. The opening repeatedly announces what the essay will discuss, while phrases such as “which and limits their thoughts” make the relationship between ideas difficult to follow. The second disadvantage also overlaps with the first rather than being clearly distinguished. Use more direct topic sentences, connect each example explicitly to its main point, and check that pronouns and linking phrases have clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivate,” “opportunities,” “competition,” “critical thinking” and “achieve goals.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make the writing less natural. Examples include “conserve minded” for a child who may think narrowly, “commands” for advice or messages, and “alert children for hard work.” Spelling and word-form errors such as “youngstures,” “grasbing” and “winnig” are also noticeable. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing effort, expectations and outcomes, and check spelling and collocations when editing. This will make your meaning clearer and reduce repetition of “hard work” and “achieve.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “which” and conditional reasoning in the example about mathematics. The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For instance, “children can motivate and encourage themselves” does not clearly express who motivates them, and “a student want good marks” has a subject–verb agreement error. There are also problems with articles, plurals and sentence construction, as in “children can be conserve minded if they have provided instuctions,” where the passive structure is incomplete. Aim for accurate basic sentence patterns first, then use subordinate clauses with clear subjects and verbs. Proofread agreement, articles and punctuation, especially in longer sentences.

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