Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some cultures , chidren are counsel as they can achieve anything and push them work harder , which can sometime work positively and bring benefits whereas it can lead children to self harm.

The primary advantage is provoking self confidence because people in our surrounding have great influence on our lifes , and listening to them always being positive can boost optimism. Those verbal cues challenge our mind enthusiasticly and evoke self belief. Secondly, person being motivated all the time is direct toward their goals. They found the purpose to work hard and see goal as a final and only thing to achieve.For instance, Success story of "Minsha Ali " Pakistani female Fighter shows how her mother's constant belief had made her win gold medal for country.

Whereas, social pressure and fear of hurting expectations seem to be the common struggle a child could face at cost of constant push. Children those who are told to work hard everytime feel pressured and bound strictly with the struggle which can lead them suffer mentally. As well , high expectations could always scared them stepping in the ground with so much inner fears. For example , Zainab attari a Pakistani student applied for a foreign education programme fail to get scholarship end up her life just for not fulfilling her parents expectations.

In conclusion , belief on achievement shared by culture can be significant in boosting confidence and dedication , sometime can put children under social pressure and fear of not being able to overcome high expectations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall position: the message can build confidence and dedication, but may also create pressure. The examples about Minsha Ali and Zainab help illustrate these points, so the response is relevant and supported. However, the benefits are explained more fully than the drawbacks: the discussion of pressure and fear would be stronger if it clarified how children may respond when they cannot meet expectations. The examples are also asserted rather than fully connected to the general argument. To strengthen the response, explain the mechanisms behind each effect and make the examples’ relevance explicit. This would develop the ideas more consistently and make the discussion more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression from confidence and goal-setting to pressure is easy to follow, and signposts such as “The primary advantage,” “Secondly,” and “Whereas” help identify the stages of the argument. Some connections are nevertheless mechanical or unclear. For example, “As well” does not smoothly introduce the next point, and the relationship between the scholarship example and the preceding claim could be made more explicit. The conclusion repeats the main contrast but does not add much synthesis. Use linking expressions that show the precise relationship between ideas, and connect each example directly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-relevant vocabulary, including “self confidence,” “optimism,” “social pressure,” “expectations,” and “dedication.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and phrases such as “boost optimism” show an effort to express effects rather than simply repeat the prompt. However, inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “counsel,” “enthusiasticly,” “lifes,” and “bound strictly with the struggle” are examples. Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “final and only thing to achieve.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling and word forms carefully. A more precise vocabulary range would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “whereas,” and “which.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main meaning is generally recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences. For example, “Children those who are told to work hard everytime feel pressured” has faulty clause structure, while “could always scared them” lacks the required verb form. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “Success story … shows” and “end up her life.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise building accurate complex sentences, then check verb forms, agreement, articles, and punctuation before submitting.

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