Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

As world has evolved further, children are very susceptable to social beliefs and customs because they grow up around these. Some people opine that children should be motivated to try their level best and others remark on that it is disadvantageous. However, I believe that it is an advantageous notion for children.

The foremost reason is children are not aware of their limitattions. Hence, if they get motivated to achieve anything, they may give better efforts. Eventually, they can accomplish many things above their expectations. For example, in many Japanese Kung Fu schools, there is an established notion that children should be learned that they can achieve anything and it is their responsibity to be mentally and physically fit for becoming the great Kung Ku. This notion helps them to bear extreamly untolerable pains while training. Moreover, the established notion that depicts children can achieve everything plays as a catalyt in scientific and academic developments. Many scientists ascertain that if a child takes nourishment and motivation to study, they can achieve many academic distinctions in their life.

In addition, the notion really works dramatically in sport sectors. If a sport-affiliated-child is taught that he can be best sport person by hard working, he will try die hard to become best on his field. For instance, Virat Kohli was taught that his batting skills can make him world's best player if he do hard. He barely take breaks from cricket following the thinking. He has been motivating himself while practicing by saying that take today's pain to be best player in future. He believes that the thinking play key roles for motivating him.

Conversely, there are many disadvantages of such thinking. To begin with, the idea can push children towards unfulfiled desires that can create unnecessary emotional breakdowns after failing to accomplish those. This can cause huge impacts on their mental health. For example, if a child wants to reach moon at elementary age that not going to happen. So, his surrounding people should motivate them not to desire that.

In conclusion, although establishing a thinking in children's mind has many advantages and disavantages. It seems to me that it has more advantages because of unawaring limitations, achiving academic accomplishments, acquiring their full potentiality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and state a clear preference for the advantages. The discussion of motivation leading to effort and achievement is relevant, with examples from education and sport. This covers the task well overall, but the development is uneven: the examples about Kung Fu training and Virat Kohli take up considerable space without clearly showing how the message benefits children generally. The disadvantage is less fully explored; the moon example illustrates an unrealistic ambition, but you could explain more about how repeated failure or pressure affects a child and how adults might balance encouragement with realistic guidance. A more developed treatment of both sides would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “Moreover,” “In addition,” and “Conversely” helps readers follow the shift between points. The progression is generally logical, but some links feel mechanical, and references are occasionally unclear. For example, “This notion” follows a long example, so it is not immediately clear whether it refers to the general message or the specific Kung Fu-school practice. The conclusion also lists several benefits rather than drawing together the main comparison. Use clearer topic sentences and more precise references, and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “emotional breakdowns,” “academic distinctions,” and “mental health,” and the main ideas remain understandable. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, word forms, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural. Examples include “susceptable,” “plays as a catalyt,” “untolerable pains,” and “unfulfiled desires.” Some phrases, such as “try die hard” and “best sport person,” are also not idiomatic. These errors limit the precision and flexibility of the vocabulary. Build a reliable set of collocations for motivation, achievement, and disappointment, and check spelling and word forms carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If a sport-affiliated-child is taught…” and a concession in the conclusion. The overall meaning is usually clear, but some errors in sentence construction, verb forms, agreement, and articles reduce accuracy. For instance, “children should be learned that” has an incorrect passive construction, while “if he do hard” and “the thinking play key roles” show problems with verb agreement and form. The sentence “if a child wants to reach moon at elementary age that not going to happen” also needs clearer clause structure and grammatical support. Review these patterns and aim for accurate, complete sentences when expressing examples and conditions.

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