Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, parents and teachers should teach their chidren to achieve their dreams if they try hard enough. The main benefit is that family should advice children to achieve their goals and success requires effort and patience. The main drawback is that culture should demotivate the students and gives bad advice.

One primary advantage, fathers and mothers can play a more important in student's studies. They should motivate and supports difficult situations whenever schoolchildren face a problems. They have ability to share their experience and daily activities. For instance, pupils wanted to become a successful doctors and engineers. These dreams have require hard work and more attention. Parents give supports and encourages children to work hard and focus on hard subjects. As a result, learners can follow their advice and fully concentrate on work. They know that want to anything and these things require full energy and hard work.

However, one of the main disadvantages of this development is that society should try to children to move in bad conditions. The public give advice to their children short cut is the best way to achieve their anythings. They should develop dentrimental habits and things. For example, most students use the short cut methods to achieve their money and other materials. They have no idea to walk on the wrong path and against the Islamic rules. They follow their society steps and advice.

In conclusion, although parents should play a more significant role in children development. They give beneficial advice to achieve their dreams and money. One main disadvantage society should play a bad role in childen training.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to discuss both an advantage and a disadvantage, and the advantage paragraph gives a relevant example involving children who hope to become doctors or engineers. However, the task asks about the effects of telling children they can achieve anything through effort; the essay shifts between parents’ encouragement, society’s influence, and advice about shortcuts, so the disadvantage is not clearly connected to the message in the question. The ideas are also difficult to interpret: “culture should demotivate the students” is not explained, and the conclusion introduces “dreams and money” without developing that point. To strengthen the response, explain a specific benefit and drawback of this message, then support each with a clear cause-and-effect example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs beginning “One primary advantage” and “However,” and a conclusion. These markers help the reader identify the intended contrast. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear: the advantage paragraph moves from parental support to career ambitions and then to concentrating on work, without clearly linking each point. The disadvantage paragraph similarly shifts from society’s advice to shortcuts and Islamic rules. Some references, such as “these things” and “they,” do not make their meaning clear. Use a simple sequence in each body paragraph—state the effect, explain why it happens, and give a relevant example—and make pronoun references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “achieve their goals,” “effort and patience,” “motivate,” and “hard work,” which helps convey the general subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate enough to make ideas unclear, such as “culture should demotivate the students,” “short cut is the best way,” and “dentrimental habits.” There are also repeated basic terms such as “children,” “advice,” and “hard work,” and spelling errors including “chidren” and “childen.” Build a more precise set of phrases for encouragement and its possible consequences, and check spelling and collocations so the reader can follow your intended meaning without guessing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts a few longer structures, including “although parents should play a more significant role” and sentences using “because” or “as a result.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in basic sentence patterns, verb forms, agreement, and articles. Examples include “family should advice,” “They should motivate and supports,” “face a problems,” and “These dreams have require.” The final sentence beginning “although” is also left without a complete contrasting clause. These errors sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to understand. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses; check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, singular and plural nouns, and whether each sentence is complete.

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