Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some traditions , kids are often told they can gain anything if they work hard enough . Although this issue offers several notable advantage , it also presents certain drowback thats must be considered . This essay will examine both side before reaching a well reasoned conclusion .

On the one hand it is understandable some people hold the opinin that if kids try hard enough they can aqure anything . One major factor why chilhood is best for working hard is that kids can concentrate properly in work or study rather then adult . As a consequence kids gets positive outcome from work or study . For instance , most of the rudimentary school kids perform better in their exam rather then highschool learners .Another vital reason is childhood time is best for gaining knowladge , This happens due to the fact that every toodlers and preschoolers have sharp brain , they can simply learn anythings as well as kids can keep anythings in their mind . As e result their roots are get strengh so that its comply positive impact on their future .

On the other hand it is conceviable some individuals assert that hard working is not enough for aqure anythings . One major cause is why hard working is not enough for gain anything is that , kids need proper guidline as well as great instructor and parenting . This is because ,proper parenting and guidline influence kids future . As a result , sometimes misguide can make childreans future gloom . For exmple childreans whom belongs to needy and illitared family they always follow what their family members doing and they also do the same thing in future .

In conclusion, i firmly hold the view that a balance approach is most reasonable based on reason discussed above .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and use a clear essay structure, but the discussion only partially answers the question because the main advantage is framed as children’s ability to learn, rather than examining the effects of telling them they can achieve anything through effort. The disadvantage about needing guidance is relevant, and the example of children copying family behaviour helps illustrate it. However, the benefits and risks of this message itself—such as motivation, resilience, unrealistic expectations, or self-blame when circumstances limit success—are not developed. Your conclusion supports a balanced approach, but does not explain what that balance would involve. Develop each point directly around the message in the prompt and make your position more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the broad direction easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, progression is sometimes mechanical or unclear. For example, the discussion moves from children concentrating to exam performance, then to toddlers’ memory, without clearly linking these claims to the message about effort and achievement. Some references, including “this happens” and “their roots,” are difficult to interpret, and several ideas are joined in long sequences. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the point it supports; this would make the organisation more consistently logical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “positive outcome,” “proper parenting,” and “future,” and the reader can generally identify your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the essay difficult to read, such as “drowback,” “aqure,” “knowledage,” and “misguide.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “their roots are get strengh” and “kids can gain anything” do not communicate the intended ideas clearly. Build accuracy with common collocations before reaching for more complex phrasing. For example, use “develop a strong foundation” and “achieve their goals,” and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary about motivation and setbacks would also help address the task directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “Although,” “because,” and “so that.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “kids gets positive outcome,” “every toodlers and preschoolers have,” and “their roots are get strengh.” The sentence beginning “One major cause is why hard working is not enough” is also not formed correctly. Punctuation and spacing around commas and full stops are inconsistent. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check subject–verb agreement and ensure each sentence has a clear, complete structure.

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