Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. There are many advantages to the message that anyone can achieve anything by trying harder, while there are many disadvantages. From my point of view, I strongly agree with the statement.

Advantages of this message to children are that these messages are created with the feeling of giving inner strength by many cultures, because when people stuck at any point in their lives they can use these as fuel for motivation. Sometimes we don't need help but need moral support. So, these can help in that situation. For instance it is generally seen that when people lost their hope, these messages help in believing with hope, moreover they can help in facing tougher life problems. Consequently, these are found to be very useful for children as a moral from older people.

On the other hand, these teachings some times can misguides younger generation, as if they fail to understand them clearly for example people may try to doing same thing with similar mistakes without even try to modify their decisions in life. Furthermore, now days people uses these ethical teachings for their unethical works also. In addition we can say that these are added in cultures to encourage people to stay on right path in life, despite of situations whether they are good or bad, we must have to follow our ethical path.

In conclusion, there are more advantages of these messages in people , but these should be have to pass to younger generation with clear explanations, so they are not misguided from true path of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and your conclusion recommends explaining the message clearly to children. The benefit of motivation is relevant, especially the idea that such messages can help when people lose hope. However, the response does not fully answer the question because the disadvantages are not clearly explained as consequences of telling children they can achieve anything through effort. The point about repeating mistakes is relevant but needs a clearer explanation, while the claim that people use ethical teachings for unethical purposes is difficult to connect to the specific message. Your position is also unclear: you say you strongly agree, although the task asks for advantages and disadvantages. State a balanced view and develop each main idea with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the broad direction of the essay. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the move from people using teachings for unethical purposes to the claim that cultures encourage an ethical path does not explain how the points relate. Connectors such as “Moreover,” “Consequently,” and “In addition” are used, but sometimes they signal a relationship that has not been established. References such as “these” and “these messages” also make it unclear exactly which ideas are being discussed. Use clearer topic sentences and explain each link between claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivation,” “moral support,” “younger generation,” and “ethical path.” These choices help communicate the general subject and show an attempt to use language beyond basic everyday terms. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “giving inner strength” and “believing with hope” are not natural expressions in this context, while “misguides younger generation” is awkwardly formed. There are also spelling and word-form errors, such as “some times” and “now days.” Build a more precise set of expressions for effort, resilience, expectations, and failure, and check that words combine naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “when,” and “as if.” This gives the response some structural variety, but complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the argument harder to understand. Examples include “when people stuck” (missing an auxiliary), “people may try to doing” (incorrect verb pattern), and “these should be have to pass” (conflicting verb forms). Agreement and sentence construction also need attention in “people uses” and “these messages are created … because when people stuck.” Punctuation around introductory phrases and examples is inconsistent. Practise accurate verb patterns and build longer sentences from shorter, correct clauses before adding more complexity.

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