Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is a considrable debate about working hard in order to achieve high goals. This is true in way that a person always get what he tried for. But for the childrens. this message can deliever both positive and negative effects as different kids have different circumstances and physology.

Lets talk about the advantages first. Motivation plays an important role in the life of human beings. Behind all the great inventions and discoveries of the past its actually the motivation that urge their inventors to make the history. This motivation makes a man to work hard in order to achieve something.For instance, many years before, man desire to fly on the sky like birds,this dream is fulfilled by the consistent hard work of Right Brothers.Their invention of airplane stunned the whole human community. Cell phone, computer, internet, electercity atc are the fruits of their founder. But here its compulsory to note that these inventions don not occur in a day or two. Their makers faced multiple failurs as well.

Some parents deliever this idea in a forceful way. They pressurize their kids to work work and just work. They do not respecr the interests and choices of their children and make them rebilous. As early years is age of the mental development, the take it in a negative way that can harm their future.

Therefore, we need to tell the students the importance of hard work by understanding their phy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both the potential benefit of encouraging effort and the risk of pressuring children, and the examples of inventions and parental pressure are relevant. However, the discussion is only partial: the advantages focus mainly on motivation and achievement, while the disadvantages are briefly asserted rather than explained. The opening claim that people “always get what he tried for” is also too absolute and is not reconciled with the later point that inventors faced failures. The conclusion is cut off at “by understanding their phy,” so your final position and advice are not completed. The response also falls 10 words short of the required minimum. Develop both sides with clearer explanations and finish with a complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: you introduce the topic, signal the advantages with “Lets talk about the advantages first,” and then move to disadvantages with “Some parents.” This gives the reader a basic sense of direction. However, the overall progression is incomplete because the final paragraph ends mid-sentence, and the advantages section contains a long list of inventions without a clear link back to children receiving this message. Connections between ideas are sometimes abrupt, such as the shift from motivation to examples. Use separate, balanced paragraphs for the benefits and drawbacks, explain how each example supports the point, and add a complete concluding paragraph. Clearer referencing would also help readers follow who “their” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “motivation,” “consistent hard work,” “pressurize,” and “mental development.” These choices show an effort to discuss both achievement and the effects of parental expectations. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to read, for example “considrable,” “deliever,” “physology,” and “rebilous.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “make the history” and “fruits of their founder.” Choose more accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe inventions as “the result of their creators’ efforts,” and use “rebellious” only when that is the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including “As early years is age of the mental development, the take it in a negative way,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement, articles, pronouns, and verb forms occur frequently: “a person always get,” “the childrens,” and “the motivation that urge.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable, as in “But for the childrens. this message…” and the unfinished final sentence. These problems sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check singular/plural agreement and articles. For instance, “A person always gets what he tries for” needs agreement, though the claim itself should also be made less absolute.

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