Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some cultures teach children they can achieve everything, no matter how hard the thing is and how difficult the situation is ?. Goal is to make children wear confidence well rather than demotivating them . Purpose is to change of psychology children at very young age .

Research showed that motivated and confident guys have performed really well under pressure compared to the shy and doubted guys. For instance, if you ever look at the Australian cricket team and their reach history in icc events in cricket, one normal question arose in the mind how they dominate icc events ? Former Australian captain Ricky Pointing himself coated at multiple occasions that we come hard in icc events , for us attitude matter the most compared to technique. Lion is belived to be the king of forest despite neither being strongest or fastest in the pool . What actually make him king is his mindset . Some cultures used this technique to make children mentally strong and confident no matter what the outcome is.

However some demerits of that are people argue sometime people who have been taught throughout life that you can achieve everything became overconfident and messed up things . Even researchers noted behavioural changes in them as well like arrogance, disobedience and comparatively rude nature . Although the merits outnumbered the demerits.

I would like to conclude this by saying that merits of this trend clearly outplay demerits. If you study 100 successful humans out of those 90% or more are taught they can achieve everything which motivated them to kept going and achieve everything. Confidence is the best accessory to wear , if you wear that well you need not worry about anything else..

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the benefits and drawbacks, and your position is clear in the conclusion: you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion of confidence and mental strength is relevant, and the example of the Australian cricket team attempts to illustrate how attitude can support performance. However, the advantages receive much more explanation than the disadvantages, which are mainly listed as overconfidence, arrogance and rudeness. Some claims, such as the assertion that 90% of successful people were taught they could achieve anything, are broad and unsupported. To develop the response more fully, explain how this message can help children persevere, and give a specific account of how unrealistic expectations might lead to disappointment or poor decisions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an identifiable overall shape: an introduction, a paragraph focused mainly on benefits, a contrast beginning with “However,” and a concluding opinion. This helps the reader follow the central argument. However, progression within the main paragraph is uneven: the cricket example, the lion comparison and the general claim about children are placed together without clearly showing how each supports the point. The drawbacks are compressed into a short section, and the conclusion repeats the view that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages rather than synthesising the discussion. Some linking is also mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “Some cultures” and “However.” Organise each paragraph around one clear point and use explicit links between the claim, example and explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “confident,” “overconfident,” “arrogance,” “disobedience” and “mindset,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “everything,” “achieve” and “people,” and several choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal. For example, “wear confidence well” and “coated” do not express the intended meanings naturally; “confidence” is not usually described as something one wears, and the intended verb is likely “quoted.” Spelling errors such as “belived” and “Pointing” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise academic phrasing, such as “develop self-belief,” “make a quotation,” and “the team’s record in international competitions.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast introduced by “However” and a relative clause in “people who have been taught throughout life.” Nevertheless, errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to process. Examples include “Goal is to make children,” which lacks an article and a complete subject, and “What actually make him king,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect. Tense and verb-form problems appear in “Research showed” and “motivated them to kept going,” while punctuation is often misplaced, as in the question marks after statements. Sentence boundaries and capitalisation also need attention. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and checking articles, verb forms and punctuation before adding more complex structures.

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