Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadys, many parent and teachers motivate children to work hard in order to achieve anything. One one hand, its good to learn as it urges them to put efforts in their tasks. But at the same time it creates unrealistic expectations of success and social pressure as well. This eassy will disscuss both advantages and disadvantages of this message on children.

The idea of working hard is very beneficial for the students.It gives them motivation to achieve success in their life. For example if a student did not perform well in any exam he can surely improve his grades in other attempt by working hard. It help them to be more focus with their goals, which in turn help in their future cereer as well. Big inventions of the history like airplane, mobile phone, internet etc, are the actually fruits of hard work.

Its commonly said that a person always gets what he tried for but we can deny the fact that success not always depends upon hard work only. Other factors like oppertunity, fate, family background also plays important part in it. By neglecting them a person can struck in disappointment. For instance, a student works hard to get 1st position in school but he gets 2nd one as his competitor attempts the paper more precisely. By following the first rule he may get dishurt. And can never normalize failure in life.

Therefore, we can conclude that working hard is complusory to achive anything big but same time children should be informed about the other factors on which success depends. This will make them more mentaly alert and satisfied.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a relevant position: hard work can motivate children, but they should also understand that success depends on other factors. The exam example and the contrast between first and second place help illustrate these points. This meets the task well overall, though some ideas are more fully explained than others. The benefits of effort are supported with examples, while the disadvantages are less clearly connected to the specific message children receive—for instance, the possible social pressure is mentioned in the introduction but not developed later. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how believing effort guarantees success could affect a child when circumstances or outcomes are beyond their control.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates the main position. Transitions such as “For example,” “By neglecting them,” and “Therefore” help readers follow the argument. This is a coherent arrangement, although some connections are mechanical or unclear. In the disadvantage paragraph, “By following the first rule” does not clearly identify the belief being discussed, and “And can never normalize failure in life” is detached from the preceding sentence. Improve cohesion by linking each example explicitly to the claim it supports and by avoiding sentence fragments. More precise referencing would make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivation,” “unrealistic expectations,” “opportunity,” and “disappointment.” However, the range and control are limited by repeated general terms such as “hard work,” “success,” and “student,” as well as noticeable spelling and word-choice errors: “Nowadys,” “oppertunity,” “dishurt,” and “compulsory” (where “essential” would fit more naturally). Some expressions are also awkward, such as “fruits of hard work” and “normalize failure.” These errors do not prevent the main ideas from being understood, but they reduce precision and sometimes make the reader pause. Build a wider set of accurate collocations for effort, achievement, and setbacks, and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is an attempt to use both simple and complex forms, including conditional reasoning in “if a student did not perform well … he can surely improve” and a relative clause in “factors … on which success depends.” The overall meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. Examples include missing articles in “in other attempt” and “important part,” subject–verb disagreement in “Other factors … also plays,” and incomplete sentence structure in “And can never normalize failure in life.” Punctuation and spacing also need attention, as in “students.It” and the comma placement around the list of inventions. Aim for more consistent sentence boundaries and check agreement, articles, and verb forms when editing.

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