Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contempaorary society it is frequently tlod to the children the y can achieve the goals if they work harder is enough. While this help in effective build the self confidence in the children and stronger work ethics. It also associated with risk of creating pyschological problems. the essay deals with both benefits and drawbacks of the approach.

On the one hand, creating a mindset in the children that success can only be achieve when we work hard for it ,provides the clear advantage for the children . when these young people believes success depend on hard work rather than innate talent. When these children face academic and personal difficulties in the lives . However they try to face the challanges as they are temporary hurdles. For examples, if a student is not good at the science subject they will work hard on it rather than assumming harder and naturally bad in the subject.This determination help them to built potential and healthy.

On the other hand, inspiring the children with mindset work harder will only achieve the success.While this is completely different in philosophy in the real world and can damage the mental health of the children. Subsequently, the hard work is only one factor of achieving the success. The success depend on socio-economic, luck and talent. When the children rise with the everything is possible. if they face failure in life they blame themselves and which leads to anxiety, feeling of inadequacy and depression because they cannot differntiate lack of efforts and barririers beyond their control.

In conclusion, i believes telling the children efforts will help them achieve success this help them to motivate and built self confidence in them to face any difficulties in thier lives. Therefore, it effects them emotionally and mentally. A better way to teach them

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages, and your position is broadly clear: effort can build confidence and persistence, but presenting success as guaranteed may harm children when they encounter barriers. The example of a student struggling with science helps illustrate perseverance, while the discussion of anxiety and depression gives the drawback relevance. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, “This determination help them to built potential and healthy” does not clearly show what develops or how. The conclusion also begins to offer a “better way” but ends before stating it, leaving the final recommendation incomplete. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation and finish by directly summarising a balanced message children could be taught.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the two sides easy to identify, and the science example follows the point about persistence. However, connections between some sentences are faulty or unclear. For example, “When these children face academic and personal difficulties… However they try to face the challenges” creates an awkward break, and “When the children rise with the everything is possible” does not clearly connect to the following consequence. The conclusion’s final sentence is unfinished, which weakens the ending. Use complete sentences, make pronoun references explicit, and link each example and consequence directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “self confidence,” “work ethics,” “innate talent,” “temporary hurdles,” and “mental health.” These choices show an effort to discuss both personal development and psychological consequences. However, inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow: “effective build,” “assumming harder,” “built potential,” and “rise with the everything is possible” are not natural expressions. There are also repeated uses of “success,” “children,” and “hard work,” which limits flexibility. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “develop self-confidence,” “persevere through setbacks,” and “factors beyond their control.” Proofreading spelling and choosing precise phrases will make your ideas clearer without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex structures, including conditional reasoning (“if they face failure in life…”) and clauses beginning with “when” and “because.” This gives the response some variety. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries occur across the essay and sometimes obscure meaning. Examples include “success can only be achieve,” “young people believes,” and “This determination help them”; these require consistent subject–verb agreement and verb forms. Several sentence fragments or incomplete constructions also appear, such as “When these young people…” and the unfinished final sentence, “A better way to teach them.” Practise building complete sentences around one main clause, then check agreement and verb forms. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex ideas easier to understand.

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