Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I believe one thing that is if a person try his best, he will achieve success. Nobody could achieve anything without trying his best.

I think we should give our children this message because it has many postive sides. If our children think that without trying he cannot get success, he will do hardwork for this. However, it creates a good impact in our society. Our children will not be lazy. They always think about work. Additionally, they try to create new innovation and it will help to develop our country. Our children are the future of our country. We have to inspire them to do hardwork. For Example: In China and Japan, every person does a lot of work. They always try to make a new innovation. For this, they always try their best. Also, their children always try to think out of box or creativity. As a result, they are one of the best developed country at this moment. They do not gain this position easily. They did hardwork day by day and always tried to enhance their financial ability and their position.

This message has a disadvantage. It has little possibility to make them overconfident. When a person feels overconfident, it will create a dangerous result. Therefore, we have to be careful about this and guide our children properly. If they lost the right track, it would be harmful for them.

Overall, I think this message will create a positive minded society. People can take their responsibility. Our children can understand their ability and they could make good impact for our society and country. We can say that our children are our asset, we can relay on them, they will carry our country and give us a new society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a clear overall view that encouraging effort is beneficial, and you do acknowledge a disadvantage: children may become overconfident. The discussion of effort, responsibility and innovation is relevant, but the task asks for the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. The advantages receive much more attention, while the disadvantage is only briefly stated and not explained with a concrete consequence or example. Some claims, such as linking hard work in China and Japan directly to national development, are broad and need clearer support. Develop both sides more evenly and explain that effort matters while outcomes can also depend on circumstances, so children are not led to blame themselves when they fail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an opening, a paragraph focused on advantages, a separate disadvantage paragraph and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the main direction. However, progression within the main paragraph is repetitive: several sentences return to children working hard, trying their best and helping the country without clearly building distinct points. Connectors such as “Additionally,” “As a result” and “Overall” are used, but some links feel mechanical or do not show a precise relationship between ideas. The conclusion also repeats earlier claims rather than drawing the two sides together. Organise the advantages into clearer points, use pronouns and linking phrases with clear references, and give the disadvantage paragraph more development.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of topic-related words, including “overconfident,” “responsibility,” “innovation” and “financial ability,” so the reader can understand your general message. However, vocabulary is often repetitive, especially “try,” “work” and “children,” and several word combinations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “do hardwork,” “make a new innovation” and “think out of box or creativity.” There are also spelling and word-form problems, including “postive” and “developed country” where a plural form is needed. These choices sometimes make the meaning less clear, even though the main ideas remain understandable. Aim for more precise collocations and vary repeated words with suitable alternatives.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional forms such as “If a person feels overconfident, it will create a dangerous result.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in basic sentence patterns, verb forms and agreement. For example, “if a person try his best” needs subject–verb agreement, while “If they lost the right track, it would be harmful” shifts awkwardly between past and conditional forms. Other examples include “every person does” followed by “They,” and “one of the best developed country,” which has a number-agreement error. Punctuation also creates a run-on in the final sentence. Practise accurate present-tense clauses, articles and plurals, and separate complete ideas with full stops.

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