Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In many cultures, parents and teachers tell their children to do hard work because it will lead to achieve success in any field. While this message has clear positive benefits for motivation and confidence. However, it will also lead to some unrealistic expectations and emotional pressure.
The main advantage is that it encourages children to be ambitious and determined. Achild who believe hard work will lead him to a successfull future is more likely to chase it. If he comtemplete that putting efforts matters is more likely to keep practising, even if any mistake is being made he will try to rectify it. This kind of encouragement from parents will gain confidence and integrity of child. In addition, it will assist him in school or later in the workplace. Children who feel that their futures are open are generally happier and more willing to try new activities, which helps them discover their strengths.
However, this message also has drawbacks. Putting emotional prssure on a child from his childhood will lead to negative consequences. Success depends on family background, support and a student ability to learn. Consequently, pressure will make the condition worst. Such as, a child who wants to become an army offcer in the future, however, he cannot achieve his goal due to physical problems.When this happens, the child may blame themselves and feel like a failure, which can damage their mental health. Secondly, the message can lead to disappointment if parents and teachers do not provide realistic guidance. Children may ignore their weaknesses and fail to prepare alternative plans, instead of choosing goals that match their abilities.
To conclude, telling children that effort leads to success can build motivation and self-belief, but it can also cause stress and disappointment when reality does not match expectations. It would be better to encourage hard work while also teaching children to set realistic goals.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a clear overall position: the message can encourage effort, but may also create pressure and disappointment. The benefits are supported with relevant outcomes, including persistence in practice, confidence, and willingness to explore activities. The discussion of drawbacks is also pertinent, especially the example of a child whose physical limitations prevent an army career. To strengthen the response further, develop some claims more precisely: for instance, “pressure will make the condition worst” is asserted rather than explained, and the point about alternative plans could be linked more clearly to the effects of the message. Overall, the ideas are extended and supported, though a few are somewhat general.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The essay has a clear four-part structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates the balanced position. Progression within the main paragraphs is generally logical, and linking expressions such as “In addition,” “However,” and “Secondly” help signal relationships between ideas. The conclusion also follows naturally from the discussion. Some connections are less smooth: “Such as” introduces an incomplete example, while “however” is awkwardly placed within the army-officer example. The repeated use of “child” and “message” also makes some referencing less varied. More precise links between claims and examples, alongside smoother transitions, would make the organisation feel more consistently controlled.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for discussing motivation, achievement, and emotional effects, with useful phrases such as “ambitious and determined,” “realistic guidance,” “alternative plans,” and “mental health.” These choices communicate the main ideas clearly, and the response attempts some less common language. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “successfull,” “comtemplete,” “prssure,” and “offcer.” Some collocations are also unnatural: “gain confidence and integrity of child” and “putting emotional pressure on a child from his childhood” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Aim to check spelling carefully and choose conventional combinations such as “build a child’s confidence” and “put pressure on a child.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional structures (“If he…”) and relative clauses (“Children who feel that their futures are open…”). Meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. The opening fragment, “While this message has clear positive benefits…,” needs to be joined to the following sentence or rewritten as a complete sentence. Agreement and verb-form problems appear in “A child who believe” and “he will try to rectify it,” while “Success depends on family background, support and a student ability to learn” has an unclear possessive construction. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly around the army-officer example. Review sentence boundaries, subject–verb agreement, and possessives to improve accuracy.
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