Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given paragraph is about what should we tought to our childrens and about awarness that such type of lessons that you can get anthing for which you work hard and is this right for them or is this kind of thing put some advantages on our society or not.

Yes this becomes trend nowdays that our culture is promoting us that way that we can get anything which for we put some efforts. Some often its give some positive vibe in some particular ways like these kind of lessons gives children motivation , pump up their moral and increase their confidence level too as well.

But all of these things are only right if we give them or told them such things too like " if you work hard to achive a goal which will be good for you and for your family as well in future then you should keep going with that but if the thing or goal which wanna achive is harmful or maybe dangerous for others even for you too then you should be quite it.Our culture or socity could play a very important role in this field by promoting or showing good ways and bad ways and by showing alternatives both of them.

parents should told there childrens if they dont get their goal

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify a relevant advantage: the message may motivate children and build confidence. You also introduce a possible disadvantage by noting that a goal could be harmful or dangerous, and suggest that parents and society should guide children. However, the response addresses the question only partially: the disadvantage is not explained in terms of what may happen to a child, and the final sentence, “parents should told there childrens if they dont get their goal,” is unfinished. The discussion therefore does not fully explain both advantages and disadvantages or develop a clear overall position. The response is also 30 words below the required minimum. Develop each side with a specific consequence or example, and complete the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces the topic, the next section presents a benefit, and “But” signals a shift towards a qualification. This gives the reader some sense of direction. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several ideas are crowded into long sentences, and the final line is incomplete. Connections such as “But all of these things” and “both of them” are not sufficiently clear, while the response lacks a complete concluding paragraph. Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages and conclusion; keep each paragraph focused on one main point and use clear references to link ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivation,” “confidence,” “goal,” and “harmful or dangerous.” These choices help communicate the main subject and show an attempt to discuss both positive and negative outcomes. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or informal, which sometimes makes the meaning harder to follow. For example, “pump up their moral” is not a natural collocation, and “get anything which for we put some efforts” is unclear. Spelling errors such as “awarness,” “achive,” and “socity” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural phrases such as “boost their confidence” and “achieve a goal through hard work,” and proofread spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use a conditional idea in “if you work hard to achieve a goal … then you should keep going,” showing an effort to express relationships between ideas. However, grammatical errors are frequent, and some sentences are difficult to understand. Examples include “what should we tought,” “Some often its give,” and “parents should told,” where verb forms and sentence construction are inaccurate. There are also problems with agreement and sentence boundaries, particularly in the long sentence beginning “But all of these things.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, past and present verb forms, and punctuation so that each sentence expresses one complete idea.

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