Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The young people are usually taught that achieving anything in the life is possible once you never quit. In this essay, we will discuss the pros and cons of raising up children based on this mindset. That allows them to pursue success with confidence, but with risks of burn out.

Knowing that everything you dream of can become true is an exceptional feeling. Being grown with that feeling, can make your self-confidence in its highest levels. As someone who is aspiring to be an impactful person in his community, he usually think "Can I secure a decent life?" Therefore, growing up by the idea that you can go beyond your limits by just prepare your mentality is what makes the difference. For example, by accepting failure as an essential step of learning we encourage ourselves to be resilient.

On the other hand, this mindset can become harmful to some teenagers. It may cause a sense of burn out, as a result of the too many different things that the one is trying to achieve at the same time. Some people suffer from negative feelings like loneliness and doubts, even though they are successful in what they are doing. They could have various responsibilities and achievemnts but they may lack the adequet time to spend with their families and their loved ones.

In conclusion, childrens grown on a high degree of achievements can become extraordinary in their living. However, they may suffer from disordered thoughts on the quality of their life. Thats why a balance between practicallity and life enjoyment is essential.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a relevant position: the message can build confidence and resilience, but may also contribute to burnout and reduced time with family. The example of treating failure as part of learning supports the benefit, while the discussion of competing responsibilities gives the drawback some explanation. However, several points remain broad or unclear. For instance, “prepare your mentality” does not explain what practical effort or support helps children succeed, and the claim that they can “go beyond your limits” risks presenting the message as universally true. Develop each side with a more specific example and clarify that effort matters but cannot guarantee every outcome.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a conclusion. The contrastive opening “On the other hand” helps signal the shift to disadvantages, and “For example” introduces supporting detail. This makes the main progression easy to follow. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The opening sentence of the first body paragraph moves from confidence to a personal example without a clear link, and “Therefore” does not clearly show how the preceding question leads to the next claim. The conclusion also introduces “practicallity” and life enjoyment without fully connecting them to the earlier discussion. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and make references such as “that feeling” and “the one” more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “self-confidence,” “resilient,” “burn out,” “responsibilities,” and “loneliness,” which helps express both benefits and risks. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “an essential step of learning.” However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, including “raising up children based on this mindset,” “in his highest levels,” and “disordered thoughts on the quality of their life.” Spelling errors such as “achievemnts,” “adequet,” and “practicallity” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations and check spelling carefully; precise wording will make your ideas clearer without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “once you never quit” and a subordinate clause beginning “even though.” Most of the message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Being grown with that feeling, can make” has an unnecessary comma and an unclear construction; “he usually think” has subject–verb disagreement; and “by just prepare your mentality” uses the wrong verb form after “by.” There are also article and plural problems in “in the life” and “childrens.” Work on agreement, articles, and gerund forms after prepositions, and proofread punctuation around introductory phrases. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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