Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

by trying hard in every field of life, you can achive everything whatever you wants. this is true that there is nothing impossible in life, you can climb the highest mountain while trying.

overall, there are many advatages of succes in life. if you do hardwork in life, giving children free hands that they can try anything, whatever they wants in thier life, it's give them freedom and they can achive success by try thier own interest. they can meets with

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The opening addresses the topic by presenting the message that effort can lead to achievement, and you begin to identify a possible advantage: children may have freedom to pursue their interests. However, the response does not explain both the advantages and disadvantages, and it ends mid-sentence at “they can meets with,” so the discussion is incomplete. The claim that “there is nothing impossible in life” is relevant but needs qualification and support; for example, you could explain how it builds persistence, then contrast this with the risk of unrealistic expectations or self-blame when goals are not reached. The required minimum of 250 words is not met, which leaves the task only minimally addressed. Develop both sides with clear examples and a conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to move from an opening claim to an advantage, using “overall” to signal a shift. The ideas are nevertheless difficult to follow because the response has no clear paragraph structure or progression from advantages to disadvantages, and it stops before completing its final point. The repeated use of “you” also makes the discussion feel more like a series of direct claims than a developed essay. Organise the response into an introduction, a paragraph for advantages, a paragraph for disadvantages, and a conclusion. Use clear links such as “One benefit is…” and “However, this message may also…” and make sure each sentence connects logically to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “achieve,” “success,” “freedom,” and “interest,” so the central idea is generally recognisable. There is also an attempt at figurative language in “climb the highest mountain.” However, the range is narrow and several spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy, including “achive,” “advatages,” “succes,” and “thier.” Phrases such as “giving children free hands” are not natural in this context; “giving children the freedom” would express the idea more clearly. Build a wider set of precise terms for both sides of the question, such as “perseverance,” “realistic expectations,” and “fear of failure,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and a longer conditional-style sentence, as in “if you do hardwork in life…,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in verb forms and agreement appear in “whatever you wants,” “they can meets,” and “they can achive success by try.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also weak: the opening begins with a lowercase letter, and the long sentence beginning “if you do hardwork” combines several ideas without a clear grammatical structure. These problems sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, for example “they can achieve success by pursuing their interests,” and use shorter, complete sentences before attempting longer structures.

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