Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many traditions, it is the practice of telling younger people that they can achieve everything if they work hard enough. The primary advantage of this practice can be it motivates children to be hardworking without being afraid of failure. However, setting unrealistic expectations and stressing about their failure can be some drawbacks of this practice.

The primary benefit of telling younger people that they can achieve their goals if they try hard is that it motivates children to be hardworking in their life. Children who grew up in these type of culture can have strong mindset and they try hard by their own to achieve their goal without depending on others. For example, students who grew up in community with full of motivative people can have strong dedication towards their studies. Another merit of this practice is that it teach to deal with failure without being afraid of it. Children with this mindset may have a courage to never give up even if they fail several times.

However, this practice have some considerable drawbacks. One of the major drawback is that children may set unrealistic expectations which can effect their mental well-being. This is because when children are told that they can achieve anything if they never give up, they can blame themselves for their failure and stress about it leading to lack of self confidence in children.

In conclusion, telling children that they can achieve everything if they try hard enough can be beneficial for children by motivation them to be hardworking in their life without giving up. However, setting unrealistic goals and stressing about their failure can be some drawbacks of this practice.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and maintain a clear overall position: encouragement can build persistence, while unrealistic expectations may harm children’s well-being. The examples about dedication to studies and continuing after failure are relevant, but they are general and do not fully explain how these outcomes arise. The disadvantage is also less developed: you identify self-blame, stress and reduced confidence, but could explain when the message becomes harmful—for example, when children face limits beyond their control. The conclusion accurately summarises your view, though it largely repeats the introduction. To strengthen the response, develop each main point with a more specific explanation or example and make the distinction between encouragement and an absolute promise clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “However” and “In conclusion” help readers recognise the shift in focus. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some features of stronger progression. However, linking is somewhat formulaic, with repeated patterns such as “The primary benefit” and “Another merit,” and the conclusion repeats points rather than drawing them together. Some references are also imprecise, as in “this practice” and “this mindset,” which can refer to several ideas. Use more varied transitions and make links between claims and explanations explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “unrealistic expectations,” “mental well-being,” “dedication” and “self confidence,” so the main ideas are generally clear. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but several choices or combinations are inaccurate or unnatural: “motivative people,” “strong mindset,” “a courage,” and “motivation them to be hardworking.” Repetition of “children,” “practice” and “hardworking” also limits flexibility. These issues fit a limited but adequate range: meaning is usually recoverable, though awkward phrasing sometimes makes the reader pause. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking word forms; for example, use “motivating,” “a strong mindset,” “courage,” and “motivate them to work hard.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “when children are told that they can achieve anything if they never give up” and a cause-and-effect explanation using “This is because.” The overall meaning remains clear, but some errors in agreement, articles and verb forms recur. Examples include “these type of culture,” “this practice have,” “One of the major drawback,” and “it teach.” The final sentence also has a faulty construction in “by motivation them.” These are correctable errors rather than barriers to understanding. Review subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms, and proofread each sentence for its main verb and article. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex sentences more reliable.

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