Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.0)

some cultures are often to take can achived anything because if they try to hard there is an common for him because that his childhood spend on his culture so do easy to acheive whenever he trid to hard enough.

To commence with, when i born on our motherland so when i feel these while passing the time i felt very easy to understand that is the common for my self . A child when he start to grow so he faced and look all around the acctivity att all so thje can easyt to attemp for him. for example, when started born in my home town so understand that are better than other on our aeria.

further more, some people believe that the cultures are very common thing depends on society, a baby born on our culture while passing time they are easy to achieve our hardness, literley he had easy to attemt because they are known the all satiations easy to understand. some thing has advantage when you are help us some necessary humunity that are better for him when u r help us with one another so i prefer do this. we can participate in all activity and develop our nation who thing u have try to advantage these thing for you self profitable.

to recaputulate, when that are thing related on your opposit so when started a disadvantage or disadvantage because when you can not to achieve to any thing so they can be hard of ur self so they would be efforts for you.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response makes an attempt to discuss the message, but it does not clearly explain both its advantages and disadvantages. The possible benefit is only vaguely suggested in phrases such as “easy to achieve” and “participate in all activity”; these are not developed into a clear explanation of how encouragement helps children. The disadvantage appears briefly in the final paragraph, where failure to achieve something may be “hard,” but the consequence for a child is not explained. Much of the discussion shifts to culture, childhood, and helping others without showing how these points answer the question. To improve, state a clear position and develop one relevant advantage and one disadvantage with specific explanations or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an opening, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, and transitions such as “To commence with,” “further more,” and “to recaputulate” signal stages of the essay. However, the ideas within paragraphs are difficult to follow, and the overall progression is unclear: the discussion moves from culture to childhood, society, helping others, and national development without clear links to the task. Some references, including “that,” “they,” and “these thing,” do not make it clear which idea is being discussed. Build each paragraph around one main point, use topic sentences, and connect each supporting explanation directly to that point rather than relying on transition phrases alone.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “culture,” “society,” “achieve,” “advantage,” and “disadvantage,” and uses a few linking expressions. However, the range is basic and many word choices or phrases are unclear, which makes the intended meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “the common for my self,” “all satiations,” and “necessary humunity”; these do not communicate precise ideas in context. Spelling errors such as “acheive,” “thje,” and “recaputulate” also reduce clarity. Aim to use familiar words accurately before trying more ambitious expressions, and check spelling and collocations. For example, describe a child as “confident” or “resilient” rather than using unclear phrases about being able to achieve.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response attempts longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “when you can not to achieve to any thing so they can be hard of ur self,” but these structures are not controlled well enough to make the relationships between ideas clear. Errors occur frequently in verb forms, sentence construction, articles, and agreement, as in “when i born,” “when he start to grow,” and “a baby born on our culture.” Several sentences also run together without clear punctuation, making them difficult to follow. There are occasional simple sentence patterns, but little evidence of accurate control across a range of structures. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine them using accurate forms such as “When a child is born” and “If they cannot achieve their goal, they may feel discouraged.”

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