Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Motivating children to menifest their dreamlife and work hard to get it is a very common practice in many cultures around the world. Parents who upbring their kids with a lot of passion while teaching them, that hardwork can enhance the efficency of your work and eventually you'll be succeed. This motivation creates stubborness in children to get what they want.

It is particular concern that the kids who try hard enough to achieve their desired goals often lose other important parts of their life. Pushing yourself so hard on success can cause burnout and depression if plan fails. For example, studing day and night to become a doctor can undeniably open doors in the future but in the meantime, student can tend to lose his health and creative mind in the process. Too much dependance on only trying hard is not appreciated much, along that brain needs rest and decision making power to achieve something.

Trying hard enough for your goals form a reliable foundation to achieve it. By getting that motivation, children usually tune their brain to work hard in every matter of life. Here they develop a habbit to overlook everything and search for answers till the end. This habbit creates several skills like problem sloving, interpersonal skills and decision making in young people. By getting used to these skills, they eventually find themselves achieving their goals in a longer run.

Achieving goals is a great habbit to build in younger people spcefically by advising them to work hard on it. This practice should have a balance in life where students definitely work hard to get anything they want but also accept the failures without being stubborne.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both advantages and disadvantages and maintains a relevant focus on the message that effort can lead to success. The disadvantage is illustrated through the example of studying to become a doctor, with possible costs to health and creativity; the advantage is linked to persistence and skills such as problem-solving. The concluding recommendation for balance also gives the response a clear overall position. This meets the task well, though the ideas are not equally developed: the benefits are described broadly, and the essay could explain more precisely how children might apply persistence while recognising limits or setbacks. The opening also focuses on parents’ motivation without clearly framing the message’s possible risks and benefits. More specific explanation would make the discussion more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, one on advantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the main contrast, and phrases such as “For example” and “By getting that motivation” signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. In the first body paragraph, the move from burnout to the need for rest and decision-making is abrupt; in the next, “Here” has an unclear reference, and several sentences repeat the idea of working hard to achieve goals. The conclusion restates the main point but does not clearly synthesise the two sides. Use more precise referencing and develop each paragraph around a clear sequence of claim, explanation, and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response attempts a range of relevant vocabulary, including “burnout,” “interpersonal skills,” “decision making,” and “foundation,” and these choices help communicate the topic. There are also attempts to express nuanced ideas, such as balancing effort with accepting failure. However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, for example “menifest,” “efficency,” “stubborness,” “dependance,” and “spcefically.” Some combinations are unnatural or unclear, such as “manifest their dreamlife,” “upbring their kids,” and “lose his health and creative mind.” Repeated use of “hard work,” “goals,” and “habbit” also limits flexibility. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations, such as “pursue their ambitions” and “develop resilience,” to express ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is an attempt to use both simple and more complex structures, including a conditional clause in “if plan fails” and a relative clause in “skills like problem solving … in young people.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity and control. Examples include “you’ll be succeed,” where the verb form is incorrect, “Trying hard enough for your goals form,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “student can tend to lose his health,” which needs clearer article and number choices. The opening sentence also has an awkward structure after “teaching them.” Work on accurate verb patterns, agreement, and articles, while keeping the useful variety of sentence forms. Proofreading each sentence for its subject and main verb would help.

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