Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some nations, children aften believe that they can abtain anything if try hard. I think it has both merits and demerits and i will discuss about both side.

To Begin with, although it can demotivate to students sometimes, it has a lot of benefits such as students become used to for hardwork and also try in tough times which can contribute in their progress. Therefore they usually do not give up for any dounting task or they generally work with concentrate consistency. For instance, when children make strong decision related their task they aften achieve huge progress because of strict mindset.

Moving further, though students can achieve anything, it can be drawbacks sometime because when students think that we can achieve everything with hard work but it's not work every time. Therefore, when they generally don't achieve progress or complete their task, they feel demotivate and also destress because in some cases required practical skills or technology instead of Hard work in study as well as they expect alot, whereafter they aften feel awful. For example children who belongs to a poor family they think that we can achieve everything by a huge efforts and when they do not selected cause of lack of expenditure and they usually feel demotivate and destress.

In conclusion, i think students should evaluate their field before choosing which can be beneficial for the children to prevent the demotivation or rejections as well as they shouldn't while working which can be part of success.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both advantages and disadvantages and maintain a relevant overall position: the message can encourage effort, but may also lead to disappointment when success is not achieved. The benefit paragraph links persistence with progress, and the example of a child working towards a task supports this point. The disadvantage paragraph also offers a relevant example involving financial barriers. However, some ideas are less fully explained than others. For instance, the claim that children may need “practical skills or technology instead of Hard work” is introduced but not clarified, and the conclusion’s advice to “evaluate their field” is not clearly connected to the discussion. Explain more precisely how the message helps or harms children and develop each example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To Begin with,” “Moving further,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. Within the paragraphs, ideas generally follow a sensible order, moving from a claim to an explanation or example. However, some linking is mechanical, and connections between ideas are occasionally unclear. For example, “although it can demotivate to students sometimes” appears at the start of the benefits paragraph, which makes the paragraph’s direction confusing. The final sentence also combines several points without showing their relationship. Use more precise links between claims and examples, and make references such as “they” clearly identify who is meant.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “hard work,” “progress,” “practical skills,” and “rejections,” and you attempt less common expressions such as “strict mindset.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “work with concentrate consistency,” “dounting task,” and “lack of expenditure”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling and word-form errors such as “aften,” “abtain,” and “demotivate” are also noticeable. Build a more reliable set of phrases for effort, achievement, and setbacks, and check spelling and collocations so your meaning is consistently clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “although,” “though,” and “when.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main argument is usually understandable. However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction can make the reader pause. For example, “if try hard” needs a subject, while “when they do not selected” has an incorrect verb form. In “children who belongs to a poor family,” the verb does not agree with the plural subject. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in lowercase “i” and the unnecessary capital in “Hard work.” Practise accurate clause construction and proofread for these recurring patterns.

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