Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The mind development age is childhood the child learn which basic things in their early ages it is more beneficial for them. In some cultures, it is commonly told to childrens they can achieve anythingwhich they want if they try and do hardwork. This essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of giving this message to children.

On the one hand there are a lot of merits to motivate child by told them they do everything their efforts should be hard. If this message is told by their parents, guardian and teachers i think it has so positive effects on pupil, they start hard work in their early ages and be a successful person in future. For example, if children get motivation from hardwork message so they do not trust on luck they simply get efforts on their ambitious which help to achieve anything they want in their entire life.

On the other hand it is correct to always inspired child by giving a message of hardwork. However, sometimes its result have demerits. If it is told by their parents or others hardwork help to achieve anything they get stressed sometimes because their parents want to sacrifice their freedom and playing age. For example, in early age child want to enjoy but their parents encourage them to task in which they have no any interest therefore it is a major disadvantage.

In conclusion, inspired to child by motivate them with a message of hardwork encourage child to achieve the thing they want but it do not work always because sometimes pupil interest in some other work but their parents forcefully working on task on which pupil do not want so they get stressed sometimes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a relevant overall view: the message may encourage effort, but pressure to pursue unwanted tasks can cause stress. The examples about children relying less on luck and losing time for play help make these points concrete. However, the advantages are developed more clearly than the disadvantages, which focus mainly on parental pressure and do not explain other possible drawbacks, such as disappointment when effort does not lead to success. The opening is also unclear and does not establish the issue directly. To strengthen the response, explain each side more fully and make your position about whether this message is beneficial, and under what conditions, clearer throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. Overall, the ideas are arranged coherently, but connections within paragraphs are sometimes mechanical or unclear. For instance, “However” follows a sentence that appears to support the same point, so the relationship between the ideas is confusing. Some references, such as “it” and “this message,” are not always precise, and the conclusion repeats the body’s points rather than drawing them together. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and make sure each pronoun has an unmistakable reference.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivation,” “hard work,” “ambitious,” “freedom,” and “stressed.” However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “message of hardwork” and “achieve anything.” Some word choices and collocations make meaning difficult to follow, as in “get efforts on their ambitious” and “encourage them to task.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-form problems, including “childrens” and “hardwork.” Aim to use a wider set of accurate expressions for effort, expectations, and pressure, and check whether words fit naturally together. More precise vocabulary would help you express the contrast between encouragement and excessive demands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “If this message is told by their parents…” and a contrast introduced by “although” or “however.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, and articles can make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “they start hard work … and be a successful person” does not maintain a consistent verb form, while “it do not work always” has an agreement error. The opening sentence is also difficult to parse because its clauses are not clearly connected. Practise building accurate sentences around one main idea, then add subordinate clauses and check subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

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