Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given topic gives the information that in some cultures People told their children they can achieve anything they can if they tried with thier full efforts.

The major advantages of this kind is children push their efforts and tried hard enough to reach their goals. This type of things motivate children to achieve their final destinations. Children often knows if thier efforts are real and they try with their heart they can reach thier destination where they got everything. These children just nows if they try hard they can get everything they want which they becomes only to push things.

With the advantages there are also disadvantages we have to look on this with this type of things in some cultures children stuck on a particular thing they becomes week and slow because their mind already washed they can do anything. Now the world becomes change lot of new technology and AI replace human jobs in various fields so only trying hard is not only enough they have to find strategies, new techniques, tios and tricks to compete into the market only hardness can't make them to find thier goals.

in conclusion this type of culture makes children hardworling but the only hardworking can't enough to achieve anything they want some things require strategies, tip and tricks to sopve the problems

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question: you explain that the message may motivate children to work towards goals, then argue that effort alone may not be enough in a changing job market. However, the discussion is limited and several points are unclear or repeated, such as children being able to “get everything they want.” The disadvantage about technology and AI is relevant, but it needs a clearer explanation of how unrealistic confidence in effort could affect children. Your conclusion restates the main contrast rather than drawing it together. The response also falls short of the required 250 words, which limits the space available to develop and support your ideas. Add specific examples and explain each advantage and disadvantage more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of your argument. You also use basic linking expressions such as “With the advantages” and “in conclusion.” However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because ideas are repeated or joined without clear relationships. For example, the advantage paragraph moves from effort to reaching goals and then repeats that children can get what they want. Some references, such as “this type of things,” are unclear, and the long disadvantage paragraph would benefit from clearer sentence boundaries. Organise each paragraph around one main point and connect supporting explanations explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “motivate,” “goals,” “strategies,” “technology,” and “replace human jobs.” This gives you a basic range for discussing effort and future employment. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or collocations make the meaning unclear, such as “final destinations,” “their mind already washed,” and “push things.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “thier,” “hardworling,” and “sopve,” which can distract the reader. Aim for precise, natural phrases rather than repeating “try hard” and “achieve.” For instance, you could describe children as developing perseverance, setting realistic goals, or adapting their approach when effort alone does not work.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the main ideas can generally be identified. However, control of sentence structure and basic grammar is inconsistent, and some longer sentences are difficult to interpret. Examples include “Children often knows” and “they becomes,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect, and “only hardworking can't enough,” where the sentence structure is incomplete. Tense and clause formation also need attention in phrases such as “the world becomes change.” Punctuation is often missing, particularly in the long sentence beginning “Now the world becomes,” which contains several ideas without clear separation. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected explanation before attempting longer structures.

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