Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People from many cultures often keep on pushing their children to try hard enough for anything because they believe they can achieve anything by doing that . And in most of the cases it's true . Success demands hard work . If they want to acheive something they must work hard enough to gain that either its respect , money , getting better at something or in terms of religious prespective. It has several advantages and disadvantages. But i believe that its numerous benefits outweighs its disadvantages.

Imagine a man working in a office full of competitive enivronment where he constantly needs to improve in order to sustain his job . In result , from his struggle he gained more knowledge, polished his skills, becomes more stronger candidate which eventually helped him to grow in his career. It was possible only with constant hard work done by him .

There are some misconceptions also about hard work . The place you are putting it on also matters. A person who has no little interest in that specific kind of a job putting hard work only wont help him . He will eventually get depressed or face anxiety . Because that sort of a job wasnot designed for him . So the one who wants to work hard and grow needs to know where they are putting their effort .

In conclusion , the childrens should be encouraged to do work in their desired feild they really crave for .It will encourage them to work harder and will benefit them in a long run rather than putting it in a place which is not designed for them. By adopting this approach, we can solve these problems while promoting a healthy, beneficial career and lifestyle

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and state a clear view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The career example explains how effort can build knowledge and skills, while the paragraph on choosing unsuitable work identifies a possible cost: anxiety or depression. These are relevant points, but the advantages are developed more fully than the disadvantages, and the discussion focuses mainly on adult employment rather than how this message affects children. The claim that success through hard work is “true” in most cases is also broad and needs qualification. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how the message can motivate children, and develop the risk of unrealistic expectations or self-blame when effort does not lead to success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion that restates your position. This gives the reader an overall sense of progression. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. “In result” does not naturally introduce the outcome of the example, and “There are some misconceptions also” does not clearly connect the drawback to the earlier discussion. The opening paragraph also moves quickly from the general claim to examples of what someone might achieve. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each example explicitly to the message given to children. The conclusion introduces “desired” fields, but this point could be linked more clearly to the disadvantage paragraph.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “competitive environment,” “polished his skills,” “sustain his job,” and “anxiety,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “promoting a healthy, beneficial career and lifestyle.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, including “gain that either its respect,” “more stronger candidate,” and “putting it on.” Spelling errors such as “acheive,” “enivronment,” and “prespective” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural combinations of words and check spelling carefully; this will make your argument sound more fluent and academic without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “a man working in an office … where he constantly needs to improve” and a conditional idea beginning “If they want to achieve something.” The main meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation remain. For example, “It has several advantages and disadvantages” has an unclear reference, while “the childrens should be encouraged” has an incorrect plural form and article. In “he gained more knowledge … becomes more stronger,” the verb forms do not remain consistent. Review sentence boundaries and use consistent tense and agreement, especially in longer sentences. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to follow.

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