Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Advice given to children varies from culture to another culture. What type of message should be passed to their children regarding achievement totally depends on the belief of the culture. In my opinion guiding children to work hard and achieve their goals can be beneficial for their career.

When children are told to work hard from the young age, they may develop a personality which help them not to give up and keep chasing their dream. For example, professional cricketers in India start at very young age around 10 years or even 8 years old for practicing cricket. In result we can see that the India stands at no. 1 team in the world because every single individual in cricket team has worked hard from their young age. If these cricketers are not advised to work hard from young age and chase their dream then they might not be standing where they are now.

The advice given to children should be positive because children tend to follow what they are taught. If some guidance is wrong then children might follow it wrongly and they may take some steps which are unforgettable like committing crime or harm other people. Although if we give proper guidance to our children, it is not guaranteed that they follow until they are adults. For instance, if we taught them to study hard in young age then there is a possibility that they might not be as good student in college as they were in our care.

In conclusion, if children are given proper guidance then it can work as advantage for them. But if taught wrongly then the outcome could be different.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You present a relevant view that encouraging effort can help children pursue goals, and the cricket example gives this benefit some support. However, the task asks for both advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. The essay mainly discusses general guidance and hard work, while the disadvantage paragraph shifts to the risk of children receiving wrong advice and later performing less well; it does not clearly examine the limits of the “anything is possible” message, such as unrealistic expectations or disappointment. Your position is also not fully consistent: the introduction supports hard work, but the conclusion contrasts proper and wrong guidance without directly weighing the message’s two effects. Develop one clear advantage and one directly relevant disadvantage, with explanation and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The first body paragraph focuses on persistence, while the next introduces a contrasting concern, and phrases such as “For example” and “In conclusion” help signal stages in the argument. However, progression between ideas is sometimes unclear. The discussion moves from the message about effort to crime, then to a child’s later academic performance, without explaining how these points relate to the specific claim that effort can achieve anything. Some linking is mechanical, and “Although” does not connect the ideas smoothly in its sentence. Make each paragraph’s main point explicit and use clearer transitions to show how the example supports it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the general topic, including “chasing their dream,” “proper guidance” and “professional cricketers.” There are also attempts to express abstract ideas about achievement and advice. However, the range is limited and several phrases are awkward or imprecise, which makes the argument less natural: “from culture to another culture,” “In result,” and “the India stands at no. 1 team” do not express the intended meaning idiomatically. Repetition of “children,” “guidance” and “work hard” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise topic vocabulary and natural collocations, such as describing persistence, expectations and setbacks. Check word forms and phrasing so that your meaning is clear without relying on repeated general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If these cricketers are not advised … then they might not be standing where they are now.” This shows some range, and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, errors in agreement, articles and verb forms recur. For example, “a personality which help them” needs subject–verb agreement, while “if we taught them to study hard in young age” has an inconsistent conditional form and an article/preposition problem. “Children tend to follow what they are taught” is a clearer, well-controlled sentence. Work on checking each sentence’s subject and verb, and practise accurate conditional structures; this will make your complex sentences more reliable and easier to follow.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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