Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Childrens are oftenly convinced in some cultures that if they work hard, they can achieve anything what they desire for. I think the advantages outwiegh disadvantages because work hard in life gives everyone better future.

On the one hand, in some cultures, parents or elders give advices to their kids that working hard can improve your life. For instance, in Australia children start working when they are in teen ages, it is becuase they want to be independent, want to improve thier life and achieve all those things what they want in their lives. By doing this, if those kids grow up and want to settle somewhere else in foreign countries, they can easily shift to abroad and adjust to the environment sooner than other kids who did not work in their young ages.

On the other hand, it also has some disadvantages because those children who started work in their young ages couldn't focus on their studies. For instance, in many developed countries, mostly teenages work in the restaurant's or cafe's at their school timing and by that, they donn't learn things or understand compare to those who go to school daily and study harder for the prospect of their future. However, some children can manage both the study and work at the same time, that is why working hard enough has more advantages than disadvantages.

To cut a long story short, working hard enough can improve anyone lives whether it is kids or adults or elders and everyone can gain independence. But, it can also distract childrens from studies and they only focus on earning money instead of learning things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The examples about young people working and becoming independent, and about work interfering with school, are relevant to the topic. However, the response partly shifts from the specific message that children can achieve anything through effort to the broader issue of children having jobs. The claim that working in Australia helps young people move abroad is not clearly connected to the message or sufficiently explained. Develop the central idea more directly—for example, explain how this belief can build persistence, while also creating unrealistic expectations or self-blame when effort does not guarantee success. This would make the discussion more complete and better supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To cut a long story short” help signal these stages. The overall progression is understandable, but some connections between ideas are not fully clear. In the first body paragraph, the move from working as a teenager to settling abroad feels abrupt, and the final sentence of the second body paragraph repeats the position rather than extending the discussion. Some references, such as “those things” and “by that,” are also vague. Make each paragraph develop one main point in a clear sequence, and use more precise references to show how each example supports the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “independent,” “studies,” “future,” and “earning money.” There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “adjust to the environment.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors make the writing less natural: “give advices,” “teen ages,” “shift to abroad,” and “focus on earning money” are examples. Some phrases are repeated, particularly “work hard” and “achieve.” Choose more precise expressions for the task, such as “perseverance,” “set realistic expectations,” and “academic progress,” and check common word partnerships and spelling. This would make your meaning clearer and help you express the advantages and disadvantages with greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional and subordinate structures, as in “if those kids grow up and want to settle somewhere else…” and “those children who started work… couldn’t focus on their studies.” These attempts show some range, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to follow. For example, “Childrens are oftenly convinced” has problems with plural formation and sentence construction, while “those children… couldn’t focus” shifts tense awkwardly in a general discussion. There are also agreement and article errors, as in “working hard enough can improve anyone lives.” Practise accurate present-tense generalisations, possessive forms, and sentence boundaries. Building shorter, correct sentences before adding subordinate clauses will improve clarity and reliability.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.