Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I agree 💯 with these lines and it has very important to told the children these thing.bcz everything is possible in the world through hard work.If we give everything in the hands of children without their hard work then it is not good for them because in this way they become useless they have no eager to hard work.In childhood we also informed our children to do hard work so in your future they will not face such any difficulties.that's reality without hard work no man can be successful.O I believe that when we give advise of hard work to our children in their childhood they pick up this advice quickly than in young age. whenever we create a passion and enthusiasm of hard work in our children then they focus on our advise and starting hard work to become successful.we should told our children a man who become successful in their life he faces many difficulties and do their hard work. If they want to become successful in their life they should be work hard.we know that hard work is important to be successful but as well as more work is harmful for our physical and mental health. those children who have much hard work their health will be spoil and they do not pay their attention in any other activities.they should be equal part in every activity like sports and other games because continuous hard work may caused our spoil health so with hard work as well as we should be careful Children health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your response takes a clear position in favour of encouraging hard work and gives relevant reasons, such as helping children become motivated and prepare for future difficulties. You also introduce a disadvantage by noting that excessive work may harm physical and mental health and reduce time for sports. However, the task asks for both advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Most of your discussion focuses on hard work generally, while the possible downside of this message—such as creating unrealistic expectations or making children blame themselves when they fail—is not explored. Develop both sides more evenly and explain how the message itself affects children.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response contains a sequence of related points, moving from the value of hard work to its possible health costs, so the reader can identify your general line of thought. However, ideas are presented in one continuous block, without paragraphing to distinguish the advantages from the disadvantages. Connections are often repetitive or unclear: “so,” “because,” and “as well as” recur, and phrases such as “whenever we create a passion” do not clearly show how the next point follows. Use separate paragraphs for each side, begin each with a clear topic sentence, and use a wider range of accurate linking expressions. This would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant terms, including “hard work,” “successful,” “difficulties,” and “physical and mental health,” which helps communicate the main topic. However, repetition limits the range, and several word choices or combinations are unnatural, such as “eager to hard work,” “pick up this advice,” and “their health will be spoil.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Build a more varied vocabulary for discussing motivation, expectations, achievement, and pressure, and learn common collocations as complete phrases. For example, children can be “motivated to work hard,” “take advice on board,” or experience “negative effects on their health.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences using words such as “because,” “if,” and “when,” showing some effort to go beyond simple statements. However, these longer structures are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries occur throughout. Examples include “it has very important to told,” “they should be work hard,” and “continuous hard work may caused.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several sentences joined together without clear stops. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using one clause pattern at a time. Check subject–verb agreement and verb forms after modal verbs, such as “should work.”

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