Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There are tow things want in the question the one is advantage the other is disadvantage

Advantage: in deffrent culturers there diffrent saying the told diffrent.children tolds that they are talking about for your own pepouse. childern want that we achieve every thing easiy and properly by any way. this message shows that the children is more more happy when they achive new thing ao this is the short reason to told children this.

Disadvantage: this advantage of this sentence that the if the children do work hard and then do not achieve own thing or distinstion so the childrewn is disaoppintet then chldrin do not work hard so, this is disadvantage of saying :they can achieve anything if they hard enough.

conclusion; The children are very sensitve so very kind and good conduct to children always.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both sides of the question: you suggest that the message may make children happy and motivated, while failure to achieve a goal may disappoint them. These points are relevant, but they are only briefly stated and the response does not explain how the message might help children persevere or how unrealistic expectations could affect them. The conclusion, “The children are very sensitve,” does not clearly summarise your view or answer which effects matter most. The response is also 113 words below the required minimum, so there is not enough development to address both advantages and disadvantages adequately. Add specific explanations or examples for each side and finish with a clear overall judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure, with separate sections labelled “Advantage,” “Disadvantage,” and “conclusion,” so the reader can recognise the intended parts. However, there is no clear progression within the sections: several ideas are compressed into long, unclear sentences, and the relationship between them is difficult to follow. For example, “this is the short reason to told children this” does not clearly connect the preceding point to the argument. Linking is also limited and sometimes awkward, as in “so, this is disadvantage.” Build one paragraph around each main idea, explain it in a logical sequence, and use clear links such as “As a result” or “For example” only where they show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small number of relevant words, including “advantage,” “disadvantage,” “achieve,” and “work hard,” which help signal the topic. However, the vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand: “deffrent culturers,” “pepouse,” and “disaoppintet” appear to mean “different cultures,” “purpose,” and “disappointed.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “achieve every thing easiy and properly by any way.” Aim to use accurate, topic-specific expressions and check spelling carefully. For instance, you could describe children as developing “perseverance” or having “unrealistic expectations,” then use these terms to explain the effects of the message.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response attempts to express cause and result, for example, “if the children do work hard and then do not achieve,” but sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent enough to obscure meaning. Problems include missing or misplaced verbs (“There are tow things want in the question”), subject–verb agreement (“the children is”), and incomplete or poorly formed clauses (“if they hard enough”). Articles, plurals, and punctuation are also inconsistently controlled, making sentence boundaries unclear. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “although,” and “if.” For example: “If children work hard but still fail, they may feel disappointed.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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