Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Many ups and downs are come in a student's life when he totally becomes disagree with his life.He becomes disheartend and loses all his hopes .At that time " Try again and hard enough till you gain your goal",seems like a motivating quotation for him.It is a good thing that if students take motivation from this and started to struggle.Actually in the life of a student,ups and downs always came to check whether they are concious or not and are actually actively participating in their activities or not.It is usually advised us do not put till tomorrow, what you can do today.It personally encourages a student to do its daily work routinely.

I also agree on this quotation because it enables a student to perform his work more effectively rather than burdenizing himself.Usually different authors wrote many moral stories and these are added into the curriculum of syllabus just to realize the importance of struggle like "The story of a thirsty crow",similarly "The story of King Robert Bruce ".Not only this,our elders usually told us the stories of ants .They are used to tell us that this mini creature struggles a lot and finally reaches its destination.So these are some examples really mesmerizes us and realize the importance of hard working. In my opinion, it is a key point in

someone's life that shapes the destination, and ultimately becomes a good source

of getting success in his life.

How if I throw lights on the disadvantage of this sentence ,

Children becomes usually get used to that now they can

only do thier work if someone motivates them ,he would be able to do work.In my opinion just become teachers by ypur ownself and be ready to face the hardships of life.Also give your out put in the form of success.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response recognises the value of encouraging children to persist, using examples such as the thirsty crow, ants and Robert Bruce. However, it addresses the question only partially: most of the essay explains the benefits of motivation and hard work, while the disadvantage is introduced briefly in the final paragraph and is not clearly explained. The claim that children may rely on someone else to motivate them is relevant, but it needs development—for example, explain how unrealistic expectations could lead to disappointment or self-blame when effort does not guarantee success. The opening also discusses students’ general ups and downs rather than directly framing the message given to children. A clearer position and balanced, specific explanation of both advantages and disadvantages would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some paragraphing, and the response moves from positive effects to a disadvantage, so the reader can identify its broad direction. However, ideas are not arranged coherently throughout: the first paragraph repeats the idea of motivation, and the second combines curriculum stories, elders’ examples and a general conclusion without a clear progression. The final paragraph begins with “How if I throw lights on the disadvantage,” but the shift is abrupt and the point that follows is difficult to follow. Connections between claims and examples are also weak, so the stories do not clearly support a developed argument. Organise the essay into a direct introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion; use clear links to show how each example supports its point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts some topic-related and less common vocabulary, including “motivation,” “struggle,” “destination” and “hardships,” and the examples make the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making the meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “burdenizing himself,” “throw lights on,” “out put” and “this mini creature.” There are also spelling errors such as “disheartend,” “concious” and “thier.” These issues fit a limited but minimally adequate range: meaning is often recoverable, but the reader has to work through noticeable errors. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing expectations, resilience and setbacks, and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “Not only this” and clauses introduced by “because” and “that.” However, control is weak: errors are frequent and sometimes obscure the intended meaning. For example, “Many ups and downs are come” has an incorrect verb form, “Children becomes” has subject–verb disagreement, and “It is usually advised us do not put till tomorrow” has faulty sentence structure. Articles, pronouns and punctuation are also inconsistently handled, as in “a student's life” and the run-on spacing around several full stops and commas. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses; check verb agreement, tense, sentence boundaries and punctuation during revision.

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