Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this topic , I will explain the advantages and disadvantages of the advice to the children given by their parents or people around them.

First of all , the question arise that what the advice is ?The answer is very simple that in some cultures or in some tribes, peopel or parents tell their children that they can do anything in their life if they try hard enough.

Example of some advices given to children by their parents are that some parents tell their children that if they hard work , they can achieve or make more money and will enjoy their whole life.Another advice is that if children ask questions like "Will I be able to buy a plane in my future ?" from their parents then they told them that they can buy a plane in future if they work hard.Some parents even tell their children that they can become a more powerful person in the world if they work hard and determine to their goals.

Now, if we look at this , these advices given to the children by their parents or people around them have many advantages but at the same time , this have many disadvantages.

The advantages of giving such advices are that children don't lose hope.They had a confidence if something is told by our parent then it must be true.So, they work hard to achieve that specific goal in life.They became fearless because they know that if they work hard then they can become the most powerful person of the world.In simple word, they had a confidence that through hard work they can achieve any thing in the life.

But these advices also have some disadvantages that are children became overconfidence.They forget about human boundaries.When they reach the age of adulthood , they became evil and try to do unmoral things.

To summarize all this, it is true that through hard work human can achieve any thing in life.But in some cases , this advice is not true and telling this to children will result in many bad things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the advantages and disadvantages and give a clear overall view that hard work can help people succeed, while the message may not always be true. The examples about earning money, buying a plane and becoming powerful show what children might be encouraged to aim for. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the benefits are mainly repeated as confidence and persistence, while the disadvantage that children may become “evil” or do “unmoral things” is asserted without explaining how unrealistic expectations could lead to this. The opening also spends considerable space restating the question rather than establishing your main argument. Explain more precisely how the message can motivate children, and balance this with realistic limits and possible disappointment.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to examples, advantages, disadvantages and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps distinguish the main sections, and signposts such as “First of all,” “But” and “To summarize” make the direction generally understandable. However, progression within the essay is repetitive: the idea that children gain confidence and work hard is expressed several times without adding a new point. The opening question-and-answer section delays the discussion, and some links between claims are unclear, particularly the jump from overconfidence to becoming “evil.” Use each paragraph to develop one distinct idea, connect cause and effect explicitly, and avoid relying on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “confidence,” “goal,” “adulthood” and “hard work.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “advice,” “children” and “work hard.” Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “these advices,” “more powerful person,” “unmoral things” and “in the life,” which sometimes make the meaning less precise. Spelling errors such as “peopel” also affect the overall impression. Build a more varied set of expressions for motivation, ambition, realistic expectations and setbacks, and check whether nouns are countable and whether phrases sound natural in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if they work hard, they can achieve” and a sentence beginning “When they reach the age of adulthood.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “the question arise,” “they had a confidence,” “they became overconfidence” and “this have many disadvantages”; these show problems with agreement, tense and sentence construction. Punctuation and spacing around commas and question marks are also inconsistent. Practise accurate present-tense statements and conditional sentences, and check subject–verb agreement and verb forms before submitting. Shorter, carefully controlled sentences would make your argument clearer.

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